An unseen quiver underneath the steel on the foreground. The emotional battles occuring every second. A winning or losing battle?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Ashley's P. O. V
I woke up to the amazing feeling of a pounding headache worsening with each passing minute. I blinked a couple of times my eyes adjusting to the light as some asshole decided it would be a bright idea to leave the my dark curtains opened to disturb my slumber.
I barely got enough sleep last night as I was on Wattpad until midnight reading novels as it was my only escape from the dull reality of my life. I've even started writing my own novel and so far it's been tough trying to get it recognized but I'm grateful to the few readers I have and the few people that follow me. I started reading on Wattpad last year a week before my birthday and I guess it was the best gift I could give to myself. I have been up all night reading the novel, “A Tigress in Distress” “Laconic” and “Our Love is Forbidden” and that alone is enough to give a sleep deprived, stressed out girl a headache.
Truth be told I was reading twenty novels at the same time and the there is one hundred and ninety five novels on my library, the online list that I just can't wait to read. Booktrovert problems right? I guess my lack of a social life does contribute but I've found good stable friends I'm able to focus my energy on.
But I've really been trying to update my two novels and I keep writing more and more and drowning myself in depressing novels. They overcome everything their growing through, I cried when they cried, feel their pain as I become the character entering a new world and as the protagonist evolves, so do I. When the character wins I win but when it loses I lose that part of me but I become stronger as it opens my eyes to a new light, a new perspective, a good book does that.
See, writing is more than just writing, I do it for a different reason. "I write to give myself strength.
I write to be the characters that I am not.
I write to explore all the things I am afraid of." Something Joss Whedon described perfectly.
I finally got up from my bed as I tried ignoring my killer headache. Alcoholics get hangovers while I get these headache because of the book drunkard that I am. It ruins my sleep routine but I can't help it.
Sometimes I wonder what normal girls my age think about, what they do with their time but then I push away the thoughts and got to the bathroom to freshen up.
After a quick shower I styled my hair into a simple ponytail, shocker that someone is too lazy to do a messy bun right but tomboys usually love the simplicity of a ponytail. I always wondered how some people always have their hair up in a messy bun because they were going for a careless look when that style itself takes a bit of effort and just the right amount of effort to make sure it doesn't fall apart all over the minute you get a little active.
I put on some leggings, grey ones and I actually own clothes of other colours aside from black. Though all my bras are either light or dark grey, black and the rare white ones. And on that note I went to my wardrobe and found a grey tank top and to finish the look a took out my dark purple oversized hoodie. I also put on some grey socks and my favourite black slippers, I also have grey one. I would have gotten a different colour but it usually clashed with my outfits.
I just listened to some music while sketching what I can, I may not be talented in drawing or painting but I'm not horrible, I'm mediocre. After spending an hour drawing I got of my bed and went downstairs to start cleaning. I also made some pancakes for everyone as breakfast and retreated to my room to get changed.
I may not have much of a social life but I want to change that, meet new people, beneficial people who will bring something to my life and teach me something new. And that is part of the reason I started the Mental Health Awareness Club, I wanted to help people, social with peers that I have something in common with.
