Back-Up Plan - Book 3 - S.E.

All or nothing

"All right, guys. It's finally here. Regionals!" Mr. Schue announced, causing all the kids to cheer and clap, all excited for their next step in the competition. "I just found out, because of safety concerns related to late-season tornados, Indianapolis has declined to host the competition. So! As defending champions, we're having regionals here, in our auditorium."

"Did you hear that?" Artie asked, over the cheers of everyone else in the room. "Home court advantage, yo!"

"Now, because of a sexting scandal at Our Lady of Perpetual Loneliness, their glee club, the Nun-touchables, has been excommunicated by the new pope." Mr. Schue continued. "They've been replaced by the world-famous boys of Ziegler Prep, the Waffle-toots. The Hoosierdaddies are still the odds-on favorite. I mean, their lead vocalist, Frida Romero, is a tiny juggernaut of talent. We are in for the fight of our lives. So... Let's get real. There comes a moment in every performer's life that defines him or her, sometimes for the rest of their career. This is our moment. We've struggled, we've endured, and now we must triumph. And speaking of that, I want us all to just take a moment to send some positive energy to one of our very own. She has her final callback for Funny Girl today. So, let's all give a big round of applause to Rachel, wherever she is."

***

"Hum, are Joe and Sugar here?" Mr. Schue asked, as he walked into the choir room the next day.

"Present, Mr. Schue!" Sugar squealed, walking into the room with Joe as everyone cheered for them, all excited about the performance that they knew was about to come in a few days. "Great. Okay. Guys, I have finalized our set list. We are going with I Love It by Icona Pop... Hall of Fame by The Script and Will.I.am and Marley's original song All or Nothing."

At that, everyone cheered as Marley slouched a little on her chair, all shy, while Winnie nudged her playfully, all proud of her friend.

"Hey, Mr. Schue, what about my original song?" Brittany asked then, walking into the choir room a little late and already starting to sing her hit song from almost two years before My cup. "Do you remember?"

"My Cup is one of a kind, but we're going with Marley's song." Mr. Schue interrupted Brittany before she could go much further than that.

"Oh, come on, boo. Two thumbs down." Brittany said, causing Winnie to frown, a little confused by her friend's behavior. "The only way to polish that turd of a song is with my angelic alto voice. So I demand to sing it as a solo. And I demand to sing all the good songs as solos. Everyone can snap their fingers and march around behind me. Tina, please make an exact replica of Jennifer Lawrence's Oscar dress."

"Hum, no." Tina frowned, half confused, half offended.

"Hum... Yes." Brittany insisted. "Let me break it down. No one in this musty choir room compares to my megawatt star power. Blaine, you're shorter than your average lawn gnome. Joe, you look like a Yucatán spider monkey. Tina is... You know, she's... Tina."

"Wait, Britt..." Winnie shook her head then, trying to stop Brittany from offending anyone else. "I think you're being a little unreasonable right now."

"No, I'm not." Brittany said. "And as fascinated as I am by your ability to still be hot and somewhat pretty even after your awful accident last year, I really miss my sweet, sweet lady kisses. And I mean not yours, because, yes, they're kind of good sometimes, but they don't get close to the ones Santana used to give me. Sorry, not sorry. Moving on, I repeat: I require all the solos. That's just the way it's gonna be."

"Brittany..." Mr. Schue sighed, as Winnie watched Brittany walking out of the room with her mouth hanging open at the words she had just heard from her. "Why are you doing this?"