Just what love can make us do? To the highest of highs and to the lowest of lows. Until where can a person hold on to the thing we call 'love'. Will we really be rewarded with the things we work hard for? Will we ever be compensated with all the pai...
The next day, afternoon, I decided to pay Sabrina a visit, to ask her out for a lunch. I bought my personal favorite, sunflowers with me.
"Hello, Jamaica. Is Sabrina inside? Does she have any schedule this afternoon?"
"Good to see you Mr. Smith! Mrs. Smith's working inside and no, she doesn't have any appointment this afternoon." She gave me a smile of hope. I smiled and nodded.
"That's good to hear, I'll be going inside then. Thank you so much."
Few steps until I reached Sabrina's office. I knocked on her door and entered. I saw her busy with her laptop at the table. She raised her head and saw me staring at her, it made her brows forrow.
"What are you doing here?" She started typing again.
"Sab, can I take you out for lunch?" I am so proud of myself for not stuttering. I took some steps towards her while holding the flowers. "Here, sunflowers, the radiant flower. All for you."
She ignored me. Not even a slightest sign of interest can be seen from her.
"Don't you like them? Should I buy you a new one? I, I can-"
"Enough! Can't you see I'm busy? I have deadlines to finish and clients to meet, I will eat if I'm hungry. I don't need you for that. I told you already, I'm not a kid. I don't need flowers, I don't need you. Get out please."
"But, but, I'm just trying to-"
"You don't need to try, don't even bother, I already told you for hundreds of time already. Stop irritating and bothering me. Go and do your stupid stuffs, those figures, photos, guitars- how about helping your company? Don't be a worthless CEO."
"But I'm doing good with them, please, let me at least do this. Let me at least show you how much I like and love you Sab."
"I don't need your love nor care. Please, Matthew, grow up. I married you because of business. Nothing else, I don't wanna give you false hope. I don't want to hurt you more."
"Please? Can we atleast try and make this work? Let's start by being friends. Let's just-"
"Shut up please. I'm begging you. Just leave now." She said in a low tone that made me surrender atleast for today. She looked at the time and stood. She took my flowers and threw it again by the trash. My poor sunflowers.
********** (•#4 - Guess you don't like sunflowers too, I wonder if I will be able to guess what flowers do you like before it's too late.) **********
I stood in front of the huge windows that gave full view of the streets and then again, I saw Sabrina left with Carlo with yesterday's car.
'First rejection, it hurts more than I have ever imagined. How do people recover and try again after suffering from this kind of pain?'
An hour passed. I was still hoping that she'll return but I guess they're having so much fun. I left her office, trying to hold back my tears.
"Mr. Smith, I thought you asked Mrs. Smith for lunch, was she with you?" Jamaica asked me.
"She rejected me. The same goes with the flowers."
"Sabrina was not like that in the past. She was a very kind person. I'm sorry to hear that Mr. Smith. Maybe she'll get back to herself soon. Don't lose hope. You're a good guy."
"I hope she sees me like that, Jamaica, thank you for being a wonderful friend even if we just met for not so long. I appreciate it."
"For everything that is right. You're welcome Mr. Smith."
I tapped her shoulders, left the building and drove home.
We stay in a condo, it's not that fancy but the view is modern. We will stay here for the meantime until our house is finished. We have a single bed but she doesn't want us to share it so I sleep on the couch.
I started to cook, hoping that she'll be hungry when she comes home late. Hoping for some dinner or small talk.
Creamy garlic chicken with mushrooms served, waiting to be eaten. Who doesn't like chicken?
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********** (•#5 - Who doesn't like chicken? This is the first time I'm cooking for you. I hope you take in even a bite. That will make me happy.) **********
Should I text her? She's really late. I should have picked her up but she might scold me again. She must have waited for me? But she said, did she? ZZZZZZ.
'I'm so worried.'
I started to eat alone. I wanted to check on her. I want her to update me so I won't be worried like this. I finished my meal and washed my dishes. I sat back and stared at the dish that I made.
Time passed and I'm still waiting for her. 1 minute 2 minutes 3 minutes 4 minutes 5 minutes 6 minutes 7 and she finally opened the door. She has a wide smile on her face that instantly faded when she saw me sitting with a supplement bottle, about to take one.
"Oh hey Sab, you're finally home. Where have you been? I made garlic chicken with mushrooms for you, do you want to eat it together?"
"I'm full."
"It's really good I promise you."
"I said, I'm full! Can't you understand english? Are you that childish that you need someone to feed you? I'm tired."
She gave me a glare of irritation and left to wash herself up.
'Don't tell me she doesn't like chicken too? Should I try pork or beef? Seafoods? Vegetables? Pastries?'
My head hurts of thinking, this is stressful. I know it's all my fault but, what's wrong with loving?
'Loving someone who doesn't love you back?'
What does love really mean? If all people experience the same feeling we call 'love'
Why do they say that:
If you love a person, you will hold on to them and show them how much you love them.
If you love a person, you will set them free and let them be happy with someone else.
If you want to love or be loved, you must first love yourself.
If you love yourself you will let loose of the grip of your one-sided love that will free you from pain but once you let go, you will be in pain.
And once you pain yourself, you don't love yourself.
