Lonely Hearts

Chapter six: Emma

There was a time before all this. A time when we had a real family. When we were happy.

I can't remember it too well, but I can remember when the happy families stopped.

When Max wouldn't stop crying.

When Lincoln shouted whenever he didn't get his way.

When I stopped believing them when they said everything would be ok.

It was in the days before they took us away. I'm not sure exactly when it started, if it was before or after Mummy got sick, I can only remember the screaming. The crying. The long, sleepless nights.

I used to hate Mummy and Lincoln for letting them take us away. I used to think that if they had just tried harder, shouted a little less, then things would have been ok.

Now I realized they were simply humans, children struggling to deal with the impossible situation we were all thrown in at Mummy's diagnosis.

Now our family was broken, and no matter how many pieces we tried to fit back together, too many of them were broken or lost.

I turned in the mirror, admiring myself, as I twisted my hair into a bun and allowed a few curly red strands to fall around my face.

"You look pretty, Emma." Max said from behind me. She sounded suspicious.

"Thanks, Max." I said, turning to smile at her. "Will you zip me up, please?"

I bent down so she could pull the zip up to my neck before I turned and kissed her forehead.

"Where are you going?" She asked, frowning.

"I'm going to a party. I'll be back later. I promise." I said softly, pulling her into a hug and kissing her cheek gently.

"Can I come?" She asked, blinking up at me with such childlike innocence that tugged at my heart.

I struggled. Louis wouldn't even let me go to the party if he knew about it. No way he would let a ten year old walk out after half nine.

I gave her a sad smile. "You wouldn't like it, babe. It's a grown up party and it'll go on past your bedtime. I'll bring you back a goodie bag if they have any treats available, yeah?" I said, knowing full well they wouldn't and that I would have to go to the shops on the way home.

She nodded. "Have a nice time."

"Will do. You be good for Amelié and Louis for me, and go to bed when they tell you to." I told her. "Love you."

"Love you too." She frowned.

I left the house quietly, avoiding the living room where Amelié was washing up and singing in her sweet voice. Her voice reminded me of Mummy's before she got sick.

I checked my phone with a smile as I walked along. Knowing I would see Milly in a few minutes revitalized me and I couldn't stop smiling. She had a way of making all the problems in my life seem small and insignificant. I lived for that feeling. A feeling I only ever got when I was with her. A feeling I wasn't sure I entirely understood. But it was one I knew I never wanted to stop.

~*~

I looked around at the crowds of people, weaving in and out until I ended up outside. A "small gathering", that's what Milly had promised. If I had known it was going to be heaving with people, I would have stayed at home and avoided upsetting Amelié altogether. Why would Milly invite me to this? She knows I hate big crowds. I could already feel my skin prickling with a light sweat.

I squirmed through the crowds until I reached the garden where there were fewer people and more room to breathe. I waited in a corner for a minute to allow my racing heart time to calm down.