Lonely Hearts

Chapter twenty-seven: Lincoln

The train juddered to a stop and I held Skye's hand as we left, kissing the back of her hand tenderly.

"Let's walk slower, ok?" I said, as we stepped out of the station.

She raised an eyebrow.

"Really?" She asked. "I would have thought you would want to run as fast as you can to get to them. They're not far now."

"Exactly." I whispered. "I know exactly where they are. I don't need to rush anymore."

I leaned in to kiss her cheek. "Our journey is nearly at an end, my love. Let's just enjoy these last few hours."

She smiled and leaned her head on my shoulder as we walked along. I squeezed her hand and thanked whoever was out there that she was with me for this. If I had to have someone with me to help keep me sane, and deal with my tantrums and craziness, I'm glad it was her.

It struck me that this might be the last time I saw her. Emily was definitely going to seperate us when she took us back. I squeezed her hand and she smiled at me. God, I loved that smile.

"In case I don't get a chance to say it later," I said. "These have been the best few days of my life."

She grinned. "In case I don't get a chance to say it later," She repeated. "I'm glad I came."

"I'm glad you came too."

"I know we might be walking into a whole heap of trouble," I added. "But I'm glad we made it."

Her smile was so beautiful.

"I told you we would."

"Thank you."

"For what?"

"For believing in me."

She squeezed my hand and I realised with a pang that I was going to miss this. She was the only girl I had ever shared my hopes and dreams with, and I wasn't ready to give it up. Because I know how this story ends. I knew. And no matter how hard I fought against it, I would be torn away from my fairy tale ending.

Because that's the sad thing about foster kids. Not everyone gets their happy ending.

~*~

We walked through the park and I wondered what the Home was doing right now. Were they looking for us? Were they worried? Angry? Scared?

I thought about all their broken promises. All the times they had said I could see them and all the times they let me down. It struck me that Emily's ultimatums were rather manipulative and cruel. She was willing to punish not just me but my sisters because I caused trouble.

A wave of fury bathed me and if she had been in front of me right that minute I would have wrapped my hands around her neck and squeezed. She was willing to break all our hearts just to keep me in line.

"Ow." Skye said, and I unclenched my fist, raising her hand to kiss it better.

"It's a good job it is biologically impossible for you to ever give birth." Skye said, rubbing her hand gently. "You'd break their hand." 

I chuckled.

"I'm sorry, my love."

"What's the matter?" She asked.

"She kept me away from them for three years." I growled. "Just to try to make me keep my emotions in check."

"Hey." Skye whispered, turning my head slightly so I was looking into her eyes. "We're going to see them. We won't stop until we do."

"She denied me - denied us - a childhood together. All because I acted like a lot of people do when dealing with grief. She never considered that it might have helped me cope better if I didn't have to ask permission to see them every time." I continued.

"I know." She whispered. "But that's over now."

"No it isn't." I said, breaking away from her. "She'll drag me back there and I won't get to see them again until I turn eighteen."

"Lincoln," She grabbed my hands and looked into my eyes, making me focus on her and only her. "We're going to see them. And it won't matter what happened before, or what happens next. All that matters is that you see them and you tell them how much you love them."

"Words can't express that." I smiled.

"They never can." She agreed, leaning in, she kissed me gently until my frustrations and worries melted away, slowly I felt all my missing pieces start to stitch themselves back together. Realising I hadn't lost them after all, but rather, they were always there, I just couldn't feel them.

She pulled away slowly and I opened my eyes. She raised an eyebrow.

"Are you ready to go?" She asked, gently.

I took a deep breath, closely followed by another, suddenly frightened and unsure why. She took my hand and it felt like a promise.

"I'll be right there the whole time." She told me.

"Promise?"

"I promise."

I took a final deep breath.

"Then let's go." I said, taking her outstretched hand.

I pulled out the GPS and plugged in the address she gave me, just a short walk away was everything I had ever wanted. So why did I have an urge to run and run until this fear disappeared? Why did I want to take her hand and run away from everything I had known and start a life somewhere no one could ever find us?

Because you're so used to running away from your problems.

But it was time to be an adult now. It was time to prove to them, to myself, that I could keep my promises. It was time to show them that I was there for them, and I would always be there.

My hand trembled as I started to walk in the direction the GPS pointed me in. I'm glad Skye was next to me, holding me up. I hoped she knew how much she meant to me.

I knew the Home would break my heart. They would come and take me away from them. They would scold me and punish me and remind me that I belonged with them. Not with the family I adored. But for now, I could keep moving until I ended up in their arms again, where I felt safe, complete.

All I had to do was keep moving.