Lonely Hearts

Chapter twenty-one: Lincoln

"The Home has the police looking for us." I told Skye, later as we walked along. 

"Figures." 

"Are you worried?" I asked. 

"I'm with you." She replied. "I don't have to be worried." 

I smiled and stroked a strand of her hair from her face. 

"We have decent disguises, they'll never find us." I joked. 

She chuckled and rested her head on my shoulder as we walked. 

Someone was playing a guitar and singing and I spun Skye around suddenly so she landed in my arms as I twirled us around. She laughed in surprise. 

"Do you even know how to dance?" She asked. 

"Kind of," I said, as I spun her around as she giggled. I smiled at her laughter, feeling the worry melt out of me, because no matter what I told her, I was worried. 

I watched her laugh as I took her hands and made her forget about the worries that were bothering her despite her protests. I could tell from the way she wrapped a strand of hair around and around her finger and was sometimes too quiet. 

"Hey." I said, pulling her closer. "You're safe with me, you know that, right?" 

She nodded. 

"I'm not going to let anything happen to you." I added. "I promise on my sisters' lives." 

She grinned. "Wow, you really do mean it." 

I smiled. "Of course." 

We stopped dancing and I pulled her close as we walked along and just for a minute, I wondered what it would be like to forget about all this and just start a new life with her. I imagined us finding a flat somewhere and getting jobs and doing that living thing people keep talking about. Who cared if we were only fifteen? Reality caught up and I shook away the silly fantasy. I'd be lucky if I managed to reach my sisters without consequence, this trip was basically a suicide mission on any life I could have had. 

I squeezed her hand, feeling something in my heart I hadn't felt in a long time. Hope. 

I pulled out my phone to check if Emma had responded to me yet. I don't know what I was expecting her to do. See the message and immediately send me her address so I knew where to find her? 

Nevertheless, I felt my heart inflate with hope as I clicked the app and opened up her page. Nothing. Just be patient, Lincoln. You're going to find them, it just might take a bit of time. 

I googled Louis's name again, I wasn't going to quit. I wouldn't quit until I found them. I scrolled through the Facebook pictures, hoping one would jump out at me that I recognised. 

"Are you ok?" Skye asked, and I realised I had slowed down. 

She peered over my shoulders and squeezed my hand. 

"They're safe with him." 

"I know. But wouldn't he have done something by now to make sure we could see each other if he cared about them? Do they even want to see me?" 

"Nuh-uh." Skye said. "Don't start to doubt yourself now. We're getting closer, I can feel it." 

I smiled grimly. 

"I wish I had your optimism." I replied. 

"Besides," She continued. "I'm not going to let all this trouble go to waste. We will find them, otherwise the punishment for running away will be for nothing." 

I sighed. 

"You shouldn't have come with me. It was a stupid idea. An idea that's probably not even going to work." I said, voicing for the first time the thought that had been bothering me since we left the Home. 

She shook her head. "I'm not missing out on an adventure. Besides, it was my decision whether or not I came." 

"But I was the one who asked you." 

She shrugged. "The point is I could have said no. And the point is I didn't. Can't you just accept that I'm here? And I'm not going anywhere." 

A reluctant smile tugged at my lips and she squeezed my hand. 

"I'm afraid you're stuck with me." She said, smiling. 

"Is that so?" I asked with a laugh. 

"Yeah." 

I rested my head on her shoulder and breathed her in for a minute, allowing myself to relax against her. 

"Thank you." I said, softly. 

"You're welcome." She said. "Do you think we'll find them today?" 

"No." I said. "But I hope we find them soon." 

"Do you think we'll find them today?" 

"I just said–" I stopped at her look. 

"Where's your optimism?" She asked. "I'll ask one more time: Do you think we'll find them today?" 

"Yes." I said. 

"Louder!!" 

"YES." I said again, chuckling. 

"That's more like it." She smiled. "Now let's go and find them, shall we?"

I followed her down the street and allowed myself to get swept up in her optimism. She was right. I was never going to find them if I kept telling myself it was impossible. What had I told Emma long ago? Nothing's impossible if you want it badly enough. I gave good advice. I should listen to myself more. 

I would find them. And I would fix this. 

I just had to keep telling myself that until I started to believe it. 

~*~ 

We've been walking forever. It was starting to get dark and Skye snuggled closer to me to keep warm. I wrapped an arm around her and pulled my jacket closer.

"Where are we going?" She asked.

"I guess we find somewhere to stay for the night." I muttered.

She turned around and gave me a long hard look.

"What is your plan, Lincoln?" She asked.

"What do you mean?"

"Are you just going to walk around the whole country until you find them? Are we going to be hopping from hotel to hotel until we find them?"

"I thought you wanted to help." I argued.

"Yes but I thought you had an actual plan. We could be walking in circles for all you know." She replied.

"What do you want me to do? Magic an answer out of nowhere?" I frowned.

"Lincoln I'm tired." She said. "I know you want to find them. And I want you to find them to. But I'm so tired. And we don't seem to be getting anywhere."

"Don't you think I know that?" I asked, turning to look at her properly. "I don't know where they are. I may never find them. But I can't just sit around doing nothing anymore. I've been waiting for someone to tell me when I can see them but they think I'm going to mess up. They don't understand that seeing them could make everything alright again."

I paused. "I sent them away because I wanted them to be safe and loved and cared for. But I didn't properly realise until now that without them there was no one to love me. And maybe for once, just once, I want to be selfish and have someone love me. I want someone to need me."

"I need you." She whispered.

"You don't need anyone."

She put her finger on my lips, her eyebrows raised in a warning not to disagree with her.

"I need you." She repeated, before putting her lips on mine.

I realised something as she kissed me. For the first time in a long time, I started to believe in someone.

And maybe I needed her too.