Hawthorne

9 - Succumb

Camilla White

Thankfully the Duke hasn't pressed me to eat or talk after I locked myself in my chambers. Nor this morning. 

I've been busying myself with work. 

Checking if everything has been cleaned accordingly; if was there any mail to be received and distributed; if the workers of the vineyards had started their shifts on time if the stables have been taken care of in the morning.

Then lunch preparation.

I am not usually this hands-on because people have been working here for years and they know what to do but today I've been using every excuse possible in the book to avoid the manorhouse and stay away from the Duke's chambers and office.

I just hope it'll work for the next few days.

There's no way I'll be able to face him after what I've done yesterday. 

That's not me and yet, I did it without thinking. Every time he's around it's like this new side of me awakens and takes over. My body acts way before my brain registers what's happening.

If Primrose hadn't barked, reminding me of my responsibilities, I probably would have let him kiss me.

Or worse, I would have kissed him.

I need to focus on my job and keep my distance. Maybe I should start looking for an internship in the area I studied for, instead of holding onto this house as if I were part of it.

By staying here, the inevitable will happen. I know I will fall for this man, just like I did when I was a little girl. But I can't now, I am no longer a little girl dreaming about her crush, I am a woman who will develop real feelings for a man who is simply out of reach. 

He is bound to these duties and expectations where a person like me has no place in.

"Camilla?" the waitress' voice snaps me out of my trance.

"Yes, Louise?" 

"The Duke asked for you to meet him in his office."

"Oh, I don't know if I'll be able to-"

"Ahm, he was adamant that you couldn't escape him anymore today." She blushed while conveying his message. "According to the Duke, you have no choice."

"Of course," I sigh. "Thank you for letting me know Louise."

Looking at her retreating figure does nothing to appease my frantic heart. That I was avoiding him was pretty obvious, I know it. 

But why must he be so adamant to not just... let me be? 

Vincent Hawthorne is the boss and I shall do as he wishes. So, I leave everything else I have been busying myself with and head towards the main hall, where the staircase leads me to the noble floor. 

There, I take the east wine where his office is located and knock on the door a couple of times.

"Come in," he answers.

"Your Grace," I greet him when I reach the front of his desk.

"Camilla." His eyes lock with mine and I swear my knees buckle at the intensity of his staring and voice. "there's mail for you." 

"Mail?" I frown. "I usually divide everything. I don't recall having-"

"This one was inside a letter that was meant for me. It's from my aunt." 

"Oh," I say confused.

Why would the Duchess send me a letter through her nephew?

On another note, I don't know if I am ready to read it yet. I've been busying my mind with work and everything else to keep me from missing her.