Wrought King of Iron

Chapter 11: Seizing Happiness

Loneliness is an emotion felt when one feels isolated from others. There is that lack of connection to the world, which mentally strains them. Human beings are social creatures, who rely on other humans in order to survive. From the moment someone is born till the moment they die, they are surrounded by people who constantly support them, even if they do not realise it. The feeling of loneliness is what makes us seek out and form connections to other people. However, a human can only understand what loneliness is when they are able to feel love from others. Someone who has never felt the warmth and love from another is always alone. The moment that person witnesses what could have been; at the point in which they understand human relations...
In that moment, he realises his solitude.
In that moment he covets connection...

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Shortly after Zelretch had left, Tohsaka finally came out of the classroom looking quite angry. I couldn't tell whether it was because of what happened in her class, or because she had somehow learned about my promised duel with Verner. 

As she reached me, she said angrily, 'That stupid rich girl was flaunting her jewel collection at me. Even though she knows that she would have more than me, she felt the need to make it very obvious.' 

I was both relieved that she wasn't shouting at me for stupidly setting up a duel with a talented magus, but also terrified of her wrath if she hears it from my own mouth. I steeled my resolve and proceeded to tell her.

'There's no need to complain about something that trivial. The quantity of her gems only boasts of excess wealth rather than talent and magic prowess. It doesn't mean she is a better magus than you.' She seemed to be satisfied with that response and calmed down.
'Speaking of talent, do you know who Verner Caesarmund is?'

Tohsaka looked surprised when I mentioned his name.
'Wow, it's surprising you know the name of a talented magus, when you didn't seem to know who Zelretch was.' She laughed at me the first time I told her Zelretch took me on as a pupil, saying I wouldn't even know who he was at first glance. When I told her I didn't know who Zelretch even was when he and I first met, it only made her laugh more, so this sort of reaction made sense.

'Yeah, I do know who Verner is as he is also in the El-Melloi class. But he sticks in my memory because of how outstanding his magical talents are. Why do you ask?'

The way she said that annoyed me, hearing her sing praises to a rotten guy like that.
'Well, he started arguing with me the moment he saw me outside the classroom waiting for you. Well, we said many unpleasant things to each other and it eventually led to us making a promise to duel each other.'

Tohsaka stared at me silently for a few seconds, and then her expression darkened. Here comes her scolding.
'HUHHHHHH? Emiya, what the hell were you thinking!? Why would you agree to a duel with him, when you don't know even know a thing about him. Don't comply with him if you aren't one hundred percent sure of victory.'

Tohsaka was super mad now. In order to lessen her anger I said with absolute assurity, 'I couldn't allow him to get away with ridiculing you. I'm used to getting mocked by others but I won't forgive anyone who insults the person I love the most.'

It seemed to have worked, as she blushed and said, 'Tha- thank you, for being considerate towards me.'
However she sternly said, 'But you know as much as I do, that I don't care about anything anyone says about me. If I don't like it then why should I have to listen to it. Even if someone insulted me, how much of what they say is true in the first place, and if it isn't then it just shows how laughable the other person is, who needs to lie or make up false things to belittle you. In the end, they only smear their own name by telling stupid lies.'

'I know that. But I have to fight him. If I can't beat Verner, after claiming to be in the right, then wouldn't everyone take his side. The fundamental point of his argument was riding on the fact that I was weak, and if I give him the chance to prove that, then people may start to believe whatever he says. At that point, the truth is irrelevant, because if one thing he said is true, who knows what else is true or not. People will naturally follow those they perceive to be in the right.'

'You're not going to back down, are you? Sorry for wasting your time by scolding you. I probably would have done the same if the roles were reversed.'
With her mood now lifted, she smiled and said, 'If the fight is inevitable, then I, knowing his strengths and weaknesses, will instruct you on how to defeat him.'

Her words were like music to my ears. 'If you're saying that, then you think I have a chance of beating him, right?'

'Well, it would be impossible for you to win fighting him blind, but now you actually have a decent chance to win if I help you.'

And so, for the next few days Tohsaka both instructed me on magecraft in the absence of Zelretch who disappeared after our private lesson, as well as taught me all about Verner's magic and his battle tactics.

Papilio Magia. Butterfly Magecraft. Verner's unique magecraft was certainly strange to say the least. It was a magecraft named after butterflies, not because it bears resemblance to any physical characteristics of a butterfly, but rather the interlude between the transformation from caterpillar to butterfly. The spell is designed to mimic the metamorphic process of a butterfly. That is to say it is 'the manipulation of the gap between what is certain and what is uncertain', with interference in the act of transformation itself being the core of this magecraft. However from this description that Tohsaka gave me, I was unable to understand or see how it could be applied to battle.

Tohsaka proceeded to give a lengthy explanation.
'From what I have gathered, it seems that Verner's main application of this magecraft is on his knife, which is a conceptual weapon. This knife is appropriately named, 'Igneo Farfalla' - Igneous Butterfly. The gimmick behind his conceptual knife is that, when tempered in flames, it undergoes an evolutionary process and transforms into a broadsword. The weapon has a strong affinity with flame, and so Verner utilises the dagger in combination with flame magecraft and his butterfly magecraft, to improve the sword during the evolution process, making it much stronger. So far that is his main use.'

'It's somewhat like my reinforcement magecraft then, where he improves any aspect of the broadsword in the metamorphosis stage in order to make it more useful for different scenarios.' It may be a powerful technique for most people to deal with, but if I can essentially do the same I doubt I would have much trouble dealing with it. I knew what he would mainly try to do that match, so it would be much easier to counter.

'I think it's best for you to go and see for yourself, him using his magecraft. You can watch Verner in the self-defence class arena, where he has been practicing for the past few days.'

The next day, after class ended, I decided to go and see Verner's training in person, and gauge his abilities. However, when I arrived I was surprised.

The sound of his grunting echoed throughout the arena. As he chanted the necessary incantations and swung his blades, his effort made audible by each attack could be heard incredibly clearly. Despite Verner emphasising his immense talent, as he moved around the coliseum elegantly, with little wasted movement, I could tell how much effort he put into the endeavour of growing stronger. They weren't the movements of someone who had an easy life, riding off of their talents blessed to them at birth.

However, what was even more surprising upon coming to see him train was the fact that, given he seemed to be an incredible magus with many achievements; despite all the factors that would seem admirable, none seemed to attract the attention of others. Because, before my eyes I was watching a man in solitude, diligently training, with not a single soul other than me watching. He wasn't doing this to flaunt his incredible abilities, contrary to what I had originally thought, but he was training with absolute conviction in order to grow stronger. He was a man dead set on winning. 

Even if no one was watching him. Even if no one cared. This battle meant something of significance to him. I could somewhat grasp why, upon seeing him, that even if I hated him, I couldn't help but pity him.

The arrogant man who wanted to obtain the world, really had nothing. There was a hole in his heart that was ever so obvious to me. He and I are pretty alike in that sense, because we both have experienced the crushing loneliness of having no one to save you.

This empty man was trying to break out of seclusion and seize happiness for himself.