Wrought King of Iron

Chapter 28: Value of Life

For the few seconds I lay on the ground drenched in water, I reflected back on my experience within that memory of his. 

As we all got up, I asked, 'Is everyone alright?'

Shiki started to walk up to me and stopped right in front of me, and although he was wearing bandages around his eyes, it felt as if he was glaring at me.
'Oi, Shirou! What the hell is up with you?'

Startled by his interrogation, I asked, 'What do you mean by that.'

'I saw into one of your memories. I spoke to you, in that dream, and do you want to know what you did when you realised you would die?'

Such an incredibly difficult question for most, because really, who knows how a child would respond to imminent death. However, to me, I had known then, and I know exactly what I would do now in that situation.

'Did I give my life to you voluntarily?'

His face contorted into a scowl, as he grabbed my collar and pulled me close. I stared at him with strong conviction. I didn't see the problem with my supposed actions, as it would have made it much easier for Shiki to escape that game, and it was my decision as well. I wanted to inquire as to why he was so unsatisfied with my actions, but in truth, I had already known why.

'You...! Why did you give your life up so easily? Without a struggle; with complete acceptance of your death, you smiled! Why are you so willing to die for someone else?' His scowl had disappeared and he looked distraught.

Isn't that much obvious?
'If my life is all it takes to save someone, even if it is just one person, I would give my all just for that.'

'You incorrigible fool! Why don't you understand that your life has meaning! You have people who care for you, and you have goals and ambitions and things worth living for! So why do you not care about your life? No, it isn't that you don't care, but, in the face of adversity you place others above yourself leading to your self-sacrificing behaviour.' I could not say anything.

Shiki Tohno is a man who understands the value of life. He treasures it above all else, and treats the fact he is alive, with care. He arrived at the brink of death and made it back, and so he cherishes every moment he is alive, using his time to do the things he wants to.

'I thought that we were similar, you know? The fact that both of us had gone through tragedy after tragedy, and death always seemed to linger around us. But, we aren't similar at all. It's like you chase after your death, forever moving towards it.' He was relatively disappointed in me, that I didn't seem to cherish my life.

'Right now, why have you come out here, where you could easily be killed by strong foes? Isn't it because you are trying to save someone you care about? Now, how would they feel if you died? If you keep running towards death, never thinking about your own life, they will continue to suffer, and neither of you can live a happy life. Is that what you want?'

I know that, damn it! How many times have I thought about that? I know that I don't actually want to die, but in the heat of the moment, I wouldn't hesitate to give my life in a heartbeat.

'Shirou, your life isn't just yours. Because you made the choice to create relationships, and become involved with others, don't you have a responsibility to make sure their happy? You need to cherish your life, or in the end you will make everyone close to you suffer. Don't you understand yet, that no matter what you think, your life has undeniable value that even if you don't believe in it, others do.'

Shiki finally let go of me, and was more sad than he was angry at that point. Maybe there was some sort of personal reason as to why he so adamantly wanted me to take care of myself, but I also believed that he was someone who cared deeply about life in general.