Wrought King of Iron

Chapter 44: BEAST (II)

Despite the fear of that beast - the fear of death, I didn't want to accept that deal. I didn't want to be the source of anyone's suffering.

Even though I was trembling, I didn't run away.

To kill innocent people for its schemes was an unacceptable condition, so there was only one answer I could give.

As I looked into its infernal eyes, my resolve did not waver,
'...I refuse! I won't kill anyone for such a stupid thing!'

It tilted its head, as if confused. Why did it seem so puzzled with my response? Was it the fact I rejected my option to live? Or could it not understand why I called its reasoning ridiculous?

'You refuse...? What are you so unsatisfied by? We both get what we want in the end, so what makes you so adverse to this offer of power? Did I say anything surprising?'

Ticked off by its indifference, I said,
'Sorry, but I don't subscribe to such genocidal ideologies, especially if they are held by something as disingenuous as you.'

Offended, it said,
'From the very beginning I told you that what I am is evil. Everything I have said is truth. My truth. What's so insincere about that. I've been nothing but truthful, yet you think me to be dishonest?'

Admittedly, it had a point. However, its wish was for something good, but its means were incredibly dubious. The contradiction between its intentions and words made me rather sceptical of if it were really telling the truth. I could sense sincerity in both its wish to eradicate the sin of comparison, as well as its indifference to slaughter, but I unconsciously didn't want to believe in such a disharmonious being.

'In any case, regardless of how you view this transaction, I refuse. We can't see eye to eye, and that's that.'

Now the beast looked even more bewildered, and I struggled to see why.

Suddenly, as if it had realised the punchline of a simple joke long after it had been made, it looked away, covering its face while awkwardly laughing.

To say this wasn't baffling would be a lie, but then again, I didn't truly understand this creature. Rather, I hoped to never have to understand such an awful beast in any capacity.

Eventually, it stopped laughing, and turned back to face me, laughing,
'I finally realised what had me confused? In fact I managed to confuse myself! As if I ever cared about the opinions of another! I realise now that what I should be saying is, what makes you think its your choice?'

What? Not my choice? The fact it hasn't forced its power on me must mean it's unable to do so.

'Indeed, you were never the one to choose. It may feel like you've been in control, but from the point that you interacted with that meddlesome man, your choices stopped being yours. Now that Zelretch has ordained your path, what makes you think you'll be able to escape it? This is your fate, so just shut your mouth and accept the deal!'

'...!?'

I couldn't say anything. 

What was there to say? Could I even have refuted that? I never wanted to think about that. I told Altrouge I came back out of my own volition, even if I would die. But is that really the case? Having met this malevolent force of nature in death, then it would seem that me coming back to meet my demise was something that had to happen. My death was something Zelretch needed to happen, because I was too weak before. He forced me into a position where I had to accept anything he thrust onto me, no matter how awful.

'It's upsetting, isn't it? To think that, from this moment forward, no, ever since the magician got involved, nothing you do really matters, because ultimately it was what he saw would happen. To be trapped. The worst part is that you feel as if you run through an endless maze, all the while the puppeteer controls you with his strings without your knowledge. You've been lost because he hasn't chosen for you to find the exit. He hasn't allowed you to escape. Even so, regardless of if you knew, would you be able to cut those strings?'