Wrought King of Iron

Chapter 23: Purgatory

Who is the one who judges my sins? Who determines whether my actions are worthy of punishment? To some, maybe it is God. Maybe it is the devil. Or maybe, it is those around you, who seek the truth of your actions. In this twisted trial, it is a being akin to all three, who has watched us, and played the role of evil, with almighty and incontestable might. But it didn't make sense to me. How long had she been watching, if she were able to know Luvia's deepest regret. Or, was it that she could see into our past?

'What sort of connection do you have with Altrouge, for her to be able to know about your past?' I inquired to Luvia.

She looked away, with a pained expression. There was a connection after all. The clues were there from the start, as she was the messenger who brought me to that party in the first place.
'Shirou... that vampire is someone who I've known for a long time.'

She paused, but I didn't - couldn't - ask her what she meant by that. I already figured it out, from her visage. From the way she appeared to be filled with rage in that moment.

She finally said, 'Of course she would know about that part of my past. She created that trauma. It was her who killed my mother.'

My chest tightened, as if in pain. The fact she was here with me, wasn't just because she thought it was her responsibility to accompany me. She wanted to put to rest her regrets by killing the source of it. 

To lose a parent was something that no child should have to bare. After all, no parent should have to die before they can see the happiness of their children. Yet, even so, the girl before me had been robbed of the happiness she could have had with her mother. And in an ironic twist of fate, forced to comply with the thief who took away her happiness. That reality was far too cruel.

'Shirou, you misunderstand Altrouge's words. She said this game is judged purely subjectively, however she isn't the accuser. As my mother's killer, she would not view her death as my sin. Therefore, the one who judged me, was myself.'

It started to make more sense, yet at the same time created more questions.
'If you know who killed your mother, why did you blame yourself?'

'My mother was a strong women, stronger than me. The best way to strike at someone physically tough, is to aim for their heart. Altrouge used me to create an opportunity to murder my mother.'

People are the most impressionable as children. When they are growing, they find it easy to latch on to ideas and beliefs, to fill their hearts as they mature. That is why, Luvia had no other way to cope with her mother's death, other than to blame herself. Even though she couldn't do anything to save her as she was a child, the fact she was used towards the end of killing her mother, left her the only option of viewing herself at fault.

'I see... But Luvia, I can assure you that it wasn't something you need to blame yourself.' I once more comforted her, in order to ease her regret.
'Well, we need to finish this quickly. Now, all that's left is for my punishment.'

I stood up, and let go of Luvia. Walking towards the scale, I mentally prepared myself for the suffering I knew I would receive. 

Looking back at Luvia I said, 'Promise me that no matter what happens to me, don't try to share my burden. If you do that, you won't be able to withstand it. I don't care how much my body is broken and battered, but I can't allow you to get hurt. You are someone who was treasured by someone, and they sacrificed things for you. I won't allow someone like that to suffer, so don't move. Not for your sake, but for mine.'

For me, who could not help but view himself as a sinner, the future awaiting me would have been an eternity of hell. But that wouldn't be a first for me.