Wrought King of Iron

Chapter 43: BEAST (I)

The heavens and hell shake in its presence. It is a reflection of what humanity should fear most - itself. And when I awake, so too, does the BEAST.

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Opening my eyes, time seemed to resume, yet was still stagnant. It was beginning. I was beginning.

The sky was clear, and the garish moon shone its light down on me. My back was cold and wet, and I noticed I lay still on a thin surface of water. Still in a state of confusion, I tried my hardest to recall what had just happened. 

Stirring into motion, unaware of a new monster that would plague my nightmares, I rose up. In front of me was a black mist. Before me seemed to be a new mystery, shrouded in a mist of shadows. 

Puzzled, I reached out to the fog with my hand, and as I did so, it retreated. And as the shadowy veil crawled back, it's grotesque figure emerged.

A hideous monstrosity stood before me, with its infernal gaze piercing through my soul. It's white fur burned, yet it was like looking at the shadows; into the abyss.  Demonic purple horns erupted from its skull. Taking the shape of a wolf, yet standing on two feet, its obsidian claws and fangs looked ready to maul me.

With an unfathomably horrifying demeanour, this was a creature of malice. Calamity incarnate. It's emergence to mark the beginning of the end.

Petrified, I could not move from my spot. It's eyes glowed blood-red, and I could do nothing but stare into hell itself, as it gazed back at me.

The monster opened its jaws, and with a deep, demonic voice, spoke to me,
'Salvation? A conceited notion, perpetuated by delusion and deception of the self. So dedicated to your dream, the impossible mission of a hero; a saviour, that you allowed yourself to believe you truly succeeded. You chose to believe that you had saved her, refusing to acknowledge that you did not and could not do so.'

Deny his words, I could not. Even as she approached me, I knew exactly how it would end up, yet I tried to lie to myself that I was right. Telling myself that Luvia came to help me, not to follow orders of that vampire, I made myself vulnerable. It wasn't a matter of trust or faith here. The reason I let her betray me wasn't because I believed in her. The reason why I died, was because I wanted to believed in myself. Indeed, I was conceited, not wishing to be so powerless that I could not save someone that I cared about.

Hanging my head in shame, accepting the truth of my awful self-indulgence, I remained silent.

'Do you see how pathetic you are, both in strength and mind?' 
His words that would surely be said only as mockery, seemed to be filled with such... sorrow.

 'Yeah, I really am pathetic.'

And as I uttered words of affirmation, his rage seemed to explode, for I could feel his intense presence crush me more than ever before.

Roaring, he exclaimed,
'What's pathetic about you is how you view yourself to be so! Your self-loathing; you're inability to appreciate the good you have done! And why is that!? Why can you never achieve your wish of being a hero!?'

Astonished by his outburst, as if pushed by his words, I had taken a step back.

Why? Why can I never be satisfied with myself? Why can I never achieve that dream of mine? 

'It's because you can't help compare yourself to your idol; your father! The man who gave you those ideals, yet was never able to uphold them himself. Someone you look up to because he was your hero. And because you compare yourself to that man, and because you feel that nothing will ever be alright unless you fulfil those ideals, you can't be happy with yourself; never satisfied with yourself, until you can become a true Hero of Justice. You envied the smile of pure joy that he had when he saved your life. You thought, if you could fulfil that dream and create a world where no one has to cry before your eyes, then maybe you could have that happiness! That maybe, you could deserve that happiness! You chase an impossible dream, and will never truly be happy.'