Wrought King of Iron

Chapter 30: It's Okay To Cry

~Two Years Later~

'Leave it to me, your dream.'  With a bright smile on my face I said those words to Kiritsugu.

Those were the final words I said to him. Quietly, rather undramatically, he passed on with a sense of inner peace.

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A few days had gone since his passing, and having spent 5 years growing attached to him, and seeing him as my father, I felt... empty. Just like after the fire, where I lost a part of me, his death felt the same. The man I idolised, having saved me that time, was gone from my life.

I spent several days after his funeral, in an immobile state of emptiness, staying shut in at home.  I didn't show up to school either, so I didn't see anyone really.

Until she came. Tohsaka appeared to comfort me in my grief.

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I was lying in Kiritsugu's room, doing nothing in particular but thinking, when the doorbell rang. I got up to answer the door, and Tohsaka greeted me quite awkwardly. The last time I had seen her was at Kiritsugu's funeral. She came as my friend, but also because he treated her like a daughter too.

'Hey, Emiya...' She gave me a little wave, and couldn't maintain eye contact with me for very long. She didn't know what to say.

'Come in, Tohsaka.' I responded, half-heartedly.

We made our way to the living room, and she sat down. I offered to get her some tea, but she refused, so I sat beside her.

For a few seconds, that felt extremely long, we said nothing. Even though we were sitting so close to each other, the distance seemed incredibly far. We had been so close since the day we met, and our bond only seemed to strengthen, but their was now an unmistakeable distance between us.

Eventually, she broke the silence.
'Emiya, are you okay?'

I hesitated for a second.  I couldn't meet her worried gaze, and remained fixated on the ground.
'Why did you come here?'

'Even at the funeral of your own father, you didn't cry.'

I didn't respond this time, thinking she must have been disappointed or disillusioned by my lack of emotions.

Suddenly, she wrapped her arms around me and embraced me, planting my head in her arms. Despite the fact she was smaller than I was, her hug felt like I was being fully enveloped by her. It was an oddly familiar comfort.

I was about to look up to see her face properly for the first time, but she quickly remarked with,
'Don't look at me, Emiya, or I'll get really mad...
It's embarrassing for me.'

She must have been quite apprehensive to the idea of doing this, but for my sake she was putting up with it. It made me truly appreciate her effort, of even coming here. It must have been hard, to muster the strength to speak with someone who didn't want to talk. She could have left me, and I would have eventually gotten over it, but she chose the harder option for my sake.

'Emiya, I understand what it feels like to lose your father. I went through the same thing as you, left behind with nothing but this empty feeling of yearning. It's natural to feel this way, after losing someone important to you.'