[fury]
Roll call!
Steve?
[steve]
yes sir
[fury]
Tony?
[tony]
hi pirate
[fury]
don't
Bruce?
[bruce]
here
[fury]
Thor?
[thor]
I AM A PRESENT WHALE ._____.
[fury]
um
Natasha?
[fury]
NATASHA?
[fury]
okay where is she
[tony]
idk probably still at her hotel
[fury]
that boy bucky
you better kick him out
[steve]
NO!!! :(
[steve]
i mean... please don't, sir. he's my responsibility, and i'll make sure he doesn't get into trouble again.
[fury]
you better
Clint?
[clint]
tweet tweet
[fury]
what
[clint]
chiiirp
[fury]
okay then
I have gathered you all here to discuss something very important...
WTF IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE?!
[tony]
arr ye booty been stolen matey?
[fury]
tony shut up
i swear...
[steve]
i don't understand, mr. fury
[fury]
well why don't i tell you
1. you drove natasha away
2. you left a purple stain on the wall in the lab
[tony]
my fault
[fury]
grr
3. you left a trail of poptarts from the kitchen, literally to the elevator, onto the roof, and off the roof onto the sidewalk
[thor]
THE SITUATION WAS OF MY FAULT, O GREAT NICK OF FURY.
[fury]
okay but how did you manage to leave the trail off the roof onto the sidewalk
did you just jump off while still eating a poptart or
[thor]
YES
[fury]
[fury]
oh
[fury]
4. you caused a leak in the downstairs bathroom that literally flooded the lobby for two days
[tony]
mmm who did this
fess up
which one of you took such a large, disgusting crap that was severe enough to break a toilet
[fury]
security footages show it was you, tony
[tony]
[tony]
okay so scotch does not go down well
[fury]
well
5. you broke 3 walls in the lab
[bruce]
my fault
[fury]
you shot a hole through the window
[hawkeye]
my fault
[fury]
you broke the toaster and started a minor fire
[steve]
my fault
[fury]
you guys are ridiculous
[tony]
it's not that bad
[fury]
really
this all happened yesterday
except the toilet thing
that's unexplainable
[steve]
at least my mistake didn't cause much damage
[fury]
steve you burned down a year's supply of paper towels
[tony]
NOT THE SUPER ABSORBENT ONES
STEVE U MONSTER
YOU ARE READING
Avengers Texts
FanfictionEver wondered what the Avengers tell each other when they're not on duty? Whatever the heck this is. Thanks for 1M! Bucks and kisses, CaptainUSA
