Avengers Texts

Damage Control

look at me actually making a chapter for once

Tony: Hello, my dearest Avengers! :)

Steve: Hey, Ton-

Tony: which one of you ugly rodents melted all of my tupperware

Thor: I DO NOT UNDERSTAND, WHAT IS THE WARE OF THINE TUPPER

Clint: thor it's food containers

Thor: WHO IS THE ONE WHO GOES BY TUPPER

Clint: thor...

Tony: i was gonna store cookies in those...

Thor: SIR STARK, YOU NEVER ENLIGHTENED ME! I HAD NO IDEA THAT YOU WENT BY THE FINE TITLE OF TUPPER, AND I SHALL BE ENTHUSIASTIC TO RECOVER YOUR WARE

Tony: omg can somebody get this guy a dictionary?

Thor: SIR TUPPER I SHALL FIND ONE RIGHT AFTER I FIND YOUR WARE

Natasha: a little birdie told me that bucky did it

Clint: wait hey i don't know anything

Natasha: a different species of a birdie...

Sam: you just HAD to make it obvious

Tony: not him again...

Steve: Tony...

Tony: he's causing too much trouble around here! he's melted all of my tupperware, which is a HUGE no-no. he literally sets my kitchen on fire weekly.

Steve: That's not true...

Tony: last week, he set my microwave on fire.

Steve: It was an accident...

Tony: he tried to microwave his finger.

Steve: ...Accidentally?

Tony: yes, steven. he removed his finger, placed it in my microwave, and microwaved it. all on accident.

Natasha: so THAT'S why one of his fingers is black

Clint: i think it suits him lmao

Thor: DO NOT BE SO HARSH TOWARDS THE METAL ARMED TROUBLEMAKER SIR TUPPER

Tony: my kitchen is covered in melted plastic, my tupperware is gone, my faucet's broken, thor thinks my name is tupper, what else could go wrong?

[Bucky has entered the chatroom]

Tony: ...sh-

Bucky: hey... sorry, dude, but... the kitchen... it just, is, ON fire, somehow... i was just... chillin'... NOT trying to bake a laptop... when suddenly, BAM. a fire.

Tony: ...

Steve: Tony, no...

Tony: you know what, steven? pepper always told me that. "tony, no!" "tony, don't do that!" "tony, stop it!" maybe that's why she and i are taking a break. and maybe, if everything i do needs to be stopped, then i should take a break.

Steve: Tony, don't take it so hard. Also, I don't understand.. We're not... together...

Tony: damn it, steven, I meant the avengers.