steve: roll call! tony!
tony: i don't want to be here but i'm he-
steve: natasha!
natasha: here.
steve: thor!
thor: STEVEN
steve: bruce!
bruce: hello, guys!
steve: clint!
clint: caw caw motherf-
steve: language!
scott: steve i swear to odin
steve: well, scott's here. and wanda?
wanda: i am here, captain.
steve: pietro?
pietro: I CANT STOP RUNNING SOMEONE HELP ME
steve: rhodey!
rhodey: here!
pietro: IM BEING SERIOUS I JUST STARTED A FIRE IN THE KITCHEN
steve: sam!
sam: yo, cap!
pietro: i stopped running and how did i end up in australia wtf
tony: i got 'em
steve: buckaroo?
bucky: stevaroni!
steve: vision?
vision: good day, mr. rogers.
steve: why on earth do we have so many team members? time to lay off a few.
bucky: i'm not even a team member i'm just here for support
pietro: and i'm dead
bruce: and i'm missing
tony: and i'm retired
clint: and i'm married
thor: and i'm dating
scott: and i'm not even a team member yet
steve: wow okay nevermind
bucky: is it just me or is scott actually bobby newport?
scott: booby newpunk? who?
bucky: from parks and recreation?
sam: isn't that the same show that the star-lord lookalike is from?
wanda: is no one going to acknowledge the giant space ship that just landed outside?
rhodey: it's owen- i mean andy- i mean chris- i mean star-lord
peter: hello. we are the guardians of the galaxy.
gamora: and we're here because you have something that thanos wants
bucky: thanos? who's thanos? that sounds like a clothing company. or a hotel chain. or a cereal. than-o's!
drax: he is a madman who wants to take over our universe. he wants your tesseract.
rhodey: so, a giant threat who wants the world on a string.
drax: no. he does not want to tie a strand of thread to this terran planet. why we he do that? that would be quite ineffective. he wants to rule the galaxy, not make a crafting project.
rhodey: you must be fun at parties.
peter: so, we just wanted to know if you wanted to team up with us? help us guard our infinity stones?
steve: i guess so. but no dance offs.
peter: as long as i can guard the redhead's galaxy.
natasha: excuse me? the only thing you should be guarding is your face from my fist.
peter: why are all of the hot ones so feisty?
groot: i am groot af
YOU ARE READING
Avengers Texts
FanfictionEver wondered what the Avengers tell each other when they're not on duty? Whatever the heck this is. Thanks for 1M! Bucks and kisses, CaptainUSA
