Living with Handsome Satan (book 2)

Chapter 25

*Matts POV*

As soon as Sydney walked out the door I lost all the fake strength I pretended I had and slid down the wall. For the past 45 minutes I have stared straight ahead completely numb. I thought the crying and screaming after walking out of our house was bad but this numbness is 100 times worse. I am feeling 100 things and absolutely nothing all at once.

I did do one thing since she left and that was take my phone from my pocket and unblock her number. She is in a foreign country alone and despite all this I need to protect her. If she's in trouble there is no doubt in my mind she will call me. After 6 years it is ingrained in both our minds that when shit gets rough we call each other.

I am still staring at the wall when my phone rings. I answer it without checking the caller ID, worried it is Sydney. Not that I think Tokyo especially a week before the olympics is unsafe but she is still a 23 year old girl alone out there and while she is a great fighter and speaks the language decently, something she taught herself slowly over the last few years for when I made it to the Olympics, I still worry.

"Matthew where the fuck are you," Amanda demands the second the phone is to my ear.

"My room," I answer but it comes off more like a question.

On the other end of the line I can hear Amanda cursing, which is unlike her, and Tyler trying to calm her down. Something is wrong and I am up immediately.

"Please tell me you know where she is," Amanda practically begs and suddenly my heart is in my throat and I can't speak. "She called me drunk and crying and then her phone died and apparently you aren't with her! Is she alone? Please fucking tell me she isn't alone Matt!"

Amanda doesn't cry. She is the voice of reason in our group. Calm and collected and always in control. Grades wise I was always the smartest but Amanda is actually the smartest person in our group. But right now she is out of control and crying hysterically. I know she is thinking about the bad things that happened to her and scared they will happen to Sydney. The difference between 14 year old Amanda at that party and Sydney now is Amanda had Tyler and I am not there.

"We broke up," I choke out. I don't know why. At the moment it doesn't matter. But its the first fucking stupid thing to come to my head.

"What," I hear Tyler scream. I guess I am on speaker phone.

"When," Amanda asks. I know she is regaining her control and slipping into her Mom mode. I also know she is looking up flights to Tokyo like she used to drive through the night to comfort Julia in college every time her and Kyle broke up again.

"Last Friday."

"Why?" She is now clinical Amanda. I have her saved in my phone as Amanda my Therapist. Since before I was dating Sydney she was the only person who could help me sort out my feelings and not fuck up this relationship.

I think about lying to her. If I lie and keep up this insane fucking idea that I was bored and now am fucking around Amanda will take Sydneys side as she should and I will lose all of them at once. It will make it easier on all of them not knowing, especially Amanda but I can't. Amanda is one of the few people besides Tom Sydney and occasionally Blake I will talk about my mom with. Sydney post kidnap was dealing with some trauma and had a hard time going back to the cemetery, so Amanda went with me. I want to lie and protect her but selfishly I need Amanda's advice and to hear her say I did the right thing with Sydney.

"I am sick," I finally say. The words are followed by a loud thud through the phone. Did she just drop her phone?

"Same as..."

The question hangs in the air but we both know what she is asking and the answer. "Yeah."

"So you broke up with her? So she could move on before you..."