Steel My Soul ✓

00 | Prologue

I N D I G O

He didn't show up to the funeral.

Chancey De Lourghey promised me he'd be with me the whole way through.

He fucking lied.

The one friend I've had for the past three years couldn't even let me know where he was or what he was doing when I needed him the most.

"Indigo," My mother's comforting voice called out to me. "Come on inside," Her sweet voice said. "You'll get sick."

I ignored her plead and let the downpour drench me.

"Your father would've had both our heads," She warned me, placing a hand on my shoulder.

Would've.

"I'll be a minute, I promise," I told her, closing my eyes at the disappointed sigh she responded with.

As soon as she went back inside, I let out a choked sob. I was trembling, and didn't know if it was from the cold or the wrenched cries I held back.

My backyard was the last place I'd been with my father. He was right here a week ago. He was right here. And then he wasn't. It was a fast death. On impact. A drunk driver had collided with his car on his way back from work one night.

"He didn't suffer," My mother's words replayed in my mind.

"Yeah, but he's still gone," I had sobbed to her.

"Indigo," A voice pulled me out from my thoughts.

My eyes tightened at the ache in my heart created by Chancey's voice. His warm hand touched my shoulder, and I flinched away from it. I didn't want him to touch me. I didn't even want to see him.

"Hey, don't do that," His soft murmur drowned in the pouring rain.

"Leave," My voice broke. "Please, go."

I heard him sigh.

"I'm sorry," He whispered, and I only heard bits of his voice.

I didn't respond, crossing my arms across my chest and turning my back to him with my eyes open. The heaviness of the rain made it difficult to see from afar.

"I just couldn't do it," He sounded closer.

"And did you think I could?" I slanted my head to the side, not entirely looking at Chancey.

He went silent.

"He was my dad," Was. "He treated you like you were his son. The least you could've done was go to his funeral," My voice hardened as anger built up in my chest.

"I didn't want to see you look so- so upset," His voice shattered. So did my fifteen-year-old heart.

"Bullshit," I muttered, sensing a lie to his truth.

"My mother wouldn't let me," He spoke through gritted teeth. "God, I wanted- I needed to be there, but-"

"Your mother lets you sneak out at two a.m., so I highly doubt that," I crossed my arms closer to my body, feeling the chill of the rain drip down my face.

Maybe they were tears. I couldn't tell anymore.

"It's not really sneaking out if she lets me-" He cut himself off, realising his words were irrelevant.

"I want you to go, Chancey."

With my back still facing him, I knew he wouldn't see the pure hurt in my face as I told him what I didn't want. Deep down, I didn't want him to go. I wanted him to stay and comfort me. I wanted him to stay and understand my pain.

"You know," His voice was louder. "This is bullshit. You not believing me, that's bullshit."

He was right behind me by the time he finished talking. I could feel his presence, and it made my back stiffen.

"I don't want you here, Chancey," I urged him to leave, but he didn't make a move to leave.

"Your dad died, Indigo," The pure confidence in his voice ripped a hole in my chest. "He's not coming back. And you're not the only one who lost him. He was the only father figure I had!"

Tears pricked my eyes, blurring my vision of the rain soaking into my clothes.

"I grieved, too!" He was yelling over the rain. "You don't think it hurt- destroyed me to not go to the funeral? Huh?"

The tears that fell down the side of my face mixed with raindrops.

"You don't think my own mother saw how bad it hurt that she refused to let me see his casket?" His voice trembled as a sob left my mouth.

Chancey's footsteps grew closer until I saw the outline of his frame walking around me. He stopped in front of me, but I refused to look at him.

"I wasn't there for you then," His tone turned gentle. "So let me be here for you now."

As much as I wanted him to stay, I felt like it was too late. The feeling of being left alone seemed more appealing, and I hated that I wanted to push him away.

"I don't want you to," I managed to speak through my sobs.

"You don't want me to what? Be here?" He tipped his head, waiting for me to look at him.

I nodded, feeling my shoulders shake.

"Ever?" I almost couldn't hear him.

"Not now," I clarified.

"Indigo, just let me-"

"Stop!"

I felt the panic seep into my blood, and when I finally looked at him, I could distinguish between the tears and rain dripping down his face. His light brown eyes held me in my place, squeezing my heart when I saw the tears that collected inside them.

"I want you to go. Just leave me alone. I don't care for how long. Just get out of here!" My throat felt scratchy from shouting over the rain.

It didn't help that Chancey looked like I ripped his heart out.

He whispered, glancing down at the ground, "two losses in three days. Fan-fucking-tastic."

I didn't even have the energy to talk back anymore.

Chancey looked like it, too, as he scrunched his nose, sniffing quietly and spearing me one more glance.

"I'm sorry for your loss," He said before walking away.

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a/n: this mtherfker is gonna hurt to write.

anyway have a great day/ night <3