Steel My Soul ✓

36 | Peace

C H A N C E Y 

Colleges from around the state were waiting for my acceptance. I hadn't responded to any of them because the local university letter had taken first place in the stack of letters on my desk. Everyone would try to change my mind if I told them I planned to stay in town for my studies. I'd declined a few scholarships and let some really good opportunities slip through my fingers. I knew it was a risky decision, but I didn't find it in myself to care anymore. 

The University twenty minutes away had a great football team. It wasn't one that NFL coaches visited frequently, but I could work with that. I'd study physiotherapy, and I knew if I became bored with that I'd pick up health sciences. Everything was planned out. I was okay with it. I was happy. 

Indigo wouldn't be too far away from me when I began next month. She was the sole reason I worked my way around my future. It was all meant to be for her. But my girl was fading right before my eyes. In the last few months since we'd graduated, she'd refused to see any of her friends. She knew her time was soon. Indigo wanted to leave everyone on a good note and decided graduation was the last time her friends would see her. 

Either way, I was going to be close to her.

"There are twenty-five letters," My Violet's voice wavered in confusion as she held the stack of my letters in her frail hands. "What are they for?"

Her eyes found mine, and I still felt my heart stammer at the sight of them. Especially now, as we sat in the hospital rooftop garden while the sun began to set. Its golden hue was mellow upon her skin, painting it was some colour - the most she'd received in months. Indigo's grey eyes were silver, piercing me right through the heart. She was always beautiful. 

"You."

Indigo's light eyebrows - some of the strands trying to grow back into place - lifted into the edge of her beanie. I reached forward and pulled it up her forehead so that she wouldn't stress about it touching her eyes. Her sensory issues had gotten worse. We hadn't known she had sensory issues with scratchy, cotton material until recently. I was still learning little details about her, and her of me. Some details were woven into my memory from late childhood. 

"About what?" Her voice was nothing but a rasp lately. 

"Some of the things I love about you," I shrugged, my hand ghosting over the frame of her face. 

"You could've said them to me," She smiled, her pale lips almost cracking. 

"I could summarise," I drawled, making sure the oxygen tubes were secure. The oxygen tank remained safe beside her, and I consistently made sure it was in fine condition. "Or you could read them for yourself."

Indigo sighed deeply, her eyes never leaving mine. "Can you read them to me?"

"No," I flicked her nose. "Use your pretty eyes and read them."

The blush on her face made me grin. She hadn't blessed me with one of those for almost a week. Due to her medication, Indigo's moods were unpredictable. Some days, she'd hate me or speak less to me. There would be no reason other than the chemicals being infused into her bloodstream to help with the chemo treatments she was convinced weren't working. On other days, like these, she was at peace and almost content with the positive things. 

"Okay," She whispered, glancing down at the first letter. 

I rested my back on the dark green garden bench and ignored the carnations and roses blooming around us to focus on her. The first time I brought her out here was the week after her first chemotherapy session. Indigo said it reminded her of a scene in High School Musical, and I promised her a dance here just like that scene if she'd go through another session. She agreed and I kept my promise.