Steel My Soul ✓

37 | Chancey

I N D I G O

Eyes identical to Chancey's zoned in on mine. The little brown sparks of joy stared unblinking as Jamie tried to win this round of a staring contest we'd been playing for twenty seconds. I knew I was going to lose again. My eyes couldn't be held open for longer than thirty seconds anymore. They were weak and tired, but it made Jamie smile so I didn't mind losing to him at all. His two front teeth were growing into place after his baby teeth fell out a month ago, which made his smile more precious than it already was. 

"You blinked!" He accused and chuckled like an evil sorcerer. "I win again."

"Yes, you do," I told him, reaching out to tickle him. 

Jamie didn't take lightly to people tickling him. He tried to be mad about it and frown when someone tickle-attacked him, but he'd be on the floor in laughter after seconds, unable to speak for himself anymore. Just like now when he frowned at me before doubling over the bed into heavy laughter. His high-pitched laughter was what I wanted to hear when I left this place. It was pure and laced with a happiness I longed to experience forever. 

"Stop, stop!" Jamie tried to move my hands away. He didn't need to tell me a third time because I worried he might piss himself. 

"My turn," Chancey interrupted, walking into the room with my mother and his in a conversation. 

He charged for the bed and dug his face into Jamie's stomach, provoking a burst of silent laughter from the little boy whose face began to redden. His tiny hands pushed Chancey away before he sat up and tried to catch his breath. 

"Not fair!" Jamie's laughter quietened, replaced with a furious look on his face as he frowned at his brother. 

"Hey, at least you can tell Chancey you won the staring contest," I nudged him, raising my eyebrows to encourage him. 

"Yeah," Jamie said as-a-matter-of-factly. "I won and you didn't."

"That's because I didn't have my turn yet," Chancey teased before turning to stare directly into my eyes.

I couldn't handle the butterflies he gave me anymore. They made me smile instantly. There was no more hiding his effect on me. He made my breath hitch and heartbeat pick up. It was embarrassing enough to have my face redden, but hearing my heart monitor beep faster through the room made me want to hide my face in my hands. 

"How long can you keep your eyes open?" He whispered, drawing closer to me, already in the midst of our staring contest. 

Jamie observed from a small distance, cheering me on instead of his brother. I grabbed his hand without looking away from Chancey's eyes and felt him squeeze it softly, encouraging me to win. 

"No more than thirty seconds," I replied, quiet enough for Jamie to remain clueless. By the time I answered, my time was almost up, and I could feel my eyes beginning to lower. 

Chancey blinked. 

"Ha!" Jamie jumped up from his spot further down the bed. "You lose. Yes! You won, Indi, you won!"

I caught him as he gently tossed himself into my arms. Chancey scolded him, telling him to be careful on my fragile body, but I didn't care. I held Jamie close and let him hug me just as tight. 

"He did that on purpose, I think," He whispered in my ear. 

"I think so, too," I whispered back. 

And I didn't appreciate it because I wanted to stare into my Chancey's beautiful eyes forever.