Leaving my love behind

chapter 28

Meredith's POV:

Everyone says when you die that you see a strong and bright light and doves the whole shebang I guess you could say but my experience was different I wasn't really dead but I wasn't alive either I felt I was in between choosing to live or choosing to die. I was lying on the ground cold, injured and in pain and then for the last time my eyes closed and when they opened again I woke up back in Michigan it was warm and inviting, standing on one side of the flower field was Derek and the girls and on the other side was my friends and family who have all left me or passed away and knew I had to fight with whatever strength I had left in me.

I can feel my eyes becoming lighter but I can't find any strength to open them all I can do is sleep, all I want to do is sleep.

Derek's POV:

It's been hours since Meredith had her surgery and she still hasn't woken up and the doctor in me and has completely vanished and I have forgotten everything I had learned about trauma and waking up from a massive surgery.

"Dr.Bailey? Why hasn't she woken up yet? I mean it's been hours and she still hasn't woken up she should be awake by now."

"Derek, she was brutally attacked and was left in pain for over 12 hours without any pain meds her body is tired from fighting all of the pain she has endured, her body is resting from the trauma we knew it would be a while before she woke up. I know it is scary for you but it is and was scarier for Meredith she was barely alive when we found her she was scared when she was lying injured and cold and still fought, so you need to be patient Derek, and let her wake up when she is physically and mentally ready, I'm going to go check  her vitals you are welcome to come in afterward."

Although I know what Meredith's injuries are I still feel useless and that I can't do anything to help and all I have to and can do is wait until she chooses to wake but-but what if she doesn't? Eliza and Amelia will be left without a mother and I won't have ever gotten the chance to propose.

"Derek, I'm finished you can go in there now."

"Thank you, Bailey."

...

I walked in and took in her appearance, she looks so defeated and tried which I don't blame her considering she had literally just spent hours upon hours fighting to stay alive. Her jaw is wired shut, casts are on multiple bones of her body and she is covered in bruises and I hope whoever did this to her gets what's coming for him. I walk over to the chair next to Meredith and I wait, I wait for any sign that she would wake up soon.

"Meredith, I don't know if you can hear me but I'm sorry. I'm sorry for not double-checking if you got to work, I'm sorry I didn't start looking for you sooner, I'm so so sorry. Please please wake up I love you and I need you."

//

*Magic minus Mer plus Lexie POV*

Izzie- "Has anyone gone to see Mer yet? I bet she would want us there don't you think?"

George- "She really got attacked and we didn't even notice we were literally meters away and we didn't notice."

Alex- "That bastard better get what's coming for him and the police better find him before I do."

Cristina- "Last time I heard she was still asleep and Derek was still by her side."

Lexie- "Do- do you think she would be able to remember what happened?"

Izzie- "Even if she did Lexie, they had to wire her jaw shut so it would be weeks before she would even be able to communicate with us verbally I mean."

George-" Come on guys we have to go meet Bailey for an update on Mer."

//

Meredith's POV:

The weight of my eyes is becoming lighter, I try to open them and my eyes don't want to co-operate with my brain. I'm trying to listen to anything but I hear nothing this must be what heaven feels like......peaceful.

The only thing that is running through my head is the event of the attack, it continues and continues I can't switch it off it's like I'm permanently stuck on this channel having to relived every scream, every cry for him to stop, every cry for help and every whimper each time I got kicked or thrown across the ground and wall, I wanted to just stop, I wanted him to leave to die and stop the pain, I wanted him to stop I begged him to stop but he kept going. I begged him to stop but he kept punching me and kicking me and throwing me and all I wanted was Derek to come and save the day but he never came I was all alone in the cold.

Every time I edge closer to Derek in the field of flowers the attack replays pulling me back to where I had started.

I once again try to open my eyes and this time they open and the first thing I see is Derek but I don't see Derek, I see the face of the man whose name I don't know but face I know all too well.

Derek's POV:

I'm still sitting by Meredith's side when I hear her grumble and her hand starts to move, I look up and our eyes met but all I saw in her eyes was fear whereas mine was filled with relief. I didn't have long to question her emotions before her heart rate monitor begun to spike and blast like crazy and all I can do while Bailey runs in is stay in the corner and now I'm back to feeling useless.

"Derek! What did you do?"

"Nothing I swear she woke up and saw me and the monitors went off, do you think I was the attacker?"

"Quite possibly maybe PTSD? Go get me a whiteboard and pen."

"Okay, okay."

*Bailey wrote on board*

Meredith, the man over there is Derek, who do you think it is?

Meredith:

The Attacker, he's back he's there, right by you.

Bailey:

No Meredith that's Derek you're boyfriend.

hi everyone! I hope you liked this chapter I am going to research PTSD and maybe Mer develops it but if you don't like that let me know but this definitely is just the beginning so don't go anywhere lol, thank you for commenting/ voting, etc it means a lot and if you did like this chapter don't forget to vote and comment it would mean a lot and if you have advice let me know :)

Have a great day

-Cerys