Leaving my love behind

Chapter 48

Derek's POV:

The sun is starting to rise, the air is fresh, my coffee is hot and I have Amelia awake and alert sitting on my lap watching as the sun rises and listening to the birds chirp away. Meredith and Eliza are the ones who like their sleep and try to sleep as long as they can, Amelia and I are early risers, and each morning if she is already awake we come out and watch the sunrise together, I haven't been able to do it as much as I would have liked considering everything that has happened these past months, but it's moments like these with my daughters I treasure.

I watch as the sky goes from pitch black to bright orange, I reflect on what the past year has brought me, this past year has been filled with much happiness, sorrow, worry, and relief on many occasions. But most importantly this year has brought Meredith and the girls back to me and for that, I am entirely grateful.

I look down and notice that Amelia has fallen asleep from my rocking her back and forth and now there is only one watching the sun.

"Derek? What are you and Amelia doing out here so early?"

"Watching the sunrise, we do it each morning and each morning she falls back asleep right about now."

"Won't she get cold Der?"

"Got it covered, I wrapped her up in blankets and the draped one of us, she enjoys watching the colors glow. What are you doing up this early, you're usually still in bed for at least another hour or two."

"The bed got cold without, I thought you left."

"I would never leave you, Meredith, never."

"I know, just abandonment issues remember?"

....

Meredith's POV:

Over these last few weeks well months Derek has been incredible with the girls and helping me recover, so I know it's only time and fair for him to go back to work to help others who need it, after all, I'll be back working once I get cleared.

"Mer, I have numbers of everyone who can call if you can't reach me. I can give Ellis a ring if it's getting too much. And please I know your incisions are healed but you only got out of your cast last week, so take it easy. There's-"

"Derek, I know where everything is, I won't go work myself they are 8 months old they eat, sleep, poop, and then repeat. If I get overwhelmed I'll ring someone, now go to work and stop worrying we all will be alright."

"But seriously if anything happens call me."

"Derek, the door is open, all you have to do is turn around and get into your car. We, Will, Be Fine."

//

Derek's POV:

The real reason I didn't want to leave without the girls was that when I last left Meredith on her own she was attacked again. That was my fault, the rational side of me knows he is in prison but the irrational side can't stop going to the possibility that it could happen for the third time.

I don't remember driving to the hospital I was too deep in thought, I don't recall walking through the doors or even when Owen started talking to me.

"Derek, are you alright, you seem distraught."

"What if it happens again."

"What happens again, Derek you need to be more clear about what's going to happen again?"

"What if she gets attacked again, I left her by herself, I let Taylor take her. What if it happens again?"

"Derek listens to me, it wasn't your fault. It wasn't your fault."

I don't notice the tears escaping my eyes, or the fact that now both Owen and Callie are escorting me into an on-call room, I am too focused on the possibility that Meredith could be bleeding out on the kitchen floor from a third attack.

Callie-"We need you to breathe Derek, we need you to follow my breathing movements."

Owen-"Callie, that won't help him to hear Meredith's voice to know she's okay."

"She's going to be lying injured on the kitchen floor, she's not okay."

Callie-Derek, you were with her 20 minutes ago and she was fine, she is fine now but we will ring her to show you she is doing okay."

Meredith's POV:

Who knew such little people could go through so many clothes, it's ridiculous really it is. I'm halfway through folding the twin's washing when my phone starts to ring. I look at the caller ID and it's Callie, Derek has probably sent her to check up on me.

"Hey, Callie, what's up?"

"Hey Mer, just checking in on you, just wanted to see how you were going and if you need any help?"

"Oh that's nice of you Callie, I'm just folding Eliza's and Amelia's washing. Then onto cleaning up their toys so I'm doing fine. I've taken my meds, so you can inform Derek that I am fine and not overworking myself at all."

"Well seems as if you have a full day ahead of yourself, just be careful on that leg you still have some more time in that moon boot."

"I will Callie, sorry I've got to go the girls have woken up."

"Bye Mer."

"Bye Callie."

Derek's POV:

I heard her voice she isn't in pain, she's okay. She's okay Derek she isn't injured she is okay. I just have to keep telling myself that then I should be fine.

Callie-"Derek, did you hear that she's okay, she's folding laundry and the girls are okay a bit cranky but they are all doing fine. They aren't in danger, they are safe out of harm's way."

Owen-"Derek have you talked to a therapist about this? About the panic attacks? The worrying and fear for Meredith?"

"No, I thought it would be fine, I would go to work and the worrying would stop but it only grew stronger."

Callie-"I think you should go see Dr. Wyatt, she can help you navigate your feelings and what's causing you to have a panic attack. Derek, you have been through a traumatic experience alongside Meredith and you never stopped to feel your feelings."

Owen-"I agree with Callie, Derek you need to feel your feelings and talk through them with a therapist and with Meredith. You have helped her heal and recover now it's her turn to help you."

Hi everyone hope you liked this chapter! So I am writing a new story to publish when this one wraps up, it's called " how do I tell you that I've always loved you?"

I can give you an insight into if you're interested but until then I will keep writing for all three stories.

I just want to say a bit thank you for 21k reads like WOAH

thank you!

Comments/advice/ ideas are welcome don't forget to vote :)

Have a great day.