Silent Diaries: Book 1

Untold Feelings

Loren

~

I stared at Jasmine in dumbfounded. Was she really crying right now. I have only seen jasmine cry once before now. And that's when she read my Dairy and was promising not to hurt me. It annoys me how she did the complete opposite.

"Are you crying?" I asked her. She looked at me and sniffed. She was crying, it was a sad sight. I didn't know what else to say, but I really wanted to get this conversation over with so I can go take my well deserved nap.

"What's wrong Jasmine. Did someone pass?" I asked.

She shock her head. "Loren I am Remorsefully sorry. I feel terrible for what I put you through. Im sorry for leaving you that night, and saying those harsh things to you at school. I didn't mean any of it loren, I seriously didnt mean any of it"

I frowned my eyebrows at her, she couldn't be serious. "Then why did you say it huh?"

"I- I had left that night because when I laid next to you I got this feeling I had never got before. I didn't know what to do. Loren so I left and went home. I was confused with how I was feeling, that's why I didn't text or call you back. And at school I was occupied, I didn't mean to ignour you, or make you feel the way you felt. But when you came at me when I bumped into you I got angry. And I said some shit I shouldn't have said." She sniffed.

I shock my head at her. "Jasmine, you used me. Belittled me . told me I was just a fuck . then you and your friends bullied me. You fucking put your hands on me. And your telling me that you did all that cause you were confused with your emotions! So your saying Dwayne was confused with his emotions too ha. Cause everything he ever did to hurt me you did the same. So you might have not constantly raped me and slapped me around like he did, but it still hurt the same jasmine. Cause I liked you and I trusted you. And you fucking hurt me like you promised you wouldn't!" I was now in tears.

For what reason, I don't know why I allow Jasmine to get under my skin like she does. I don't understand why I'm still sitting here in tears trying to hear her out. She is such an asshole. Trying to persuade me with her tears. After all she did.

"I'm sorry Loren. I don't know what else to say or do. But I promise if you just give me a chance I'll live to make it up to you"

I scoffed. "More empty promises huh Jasmine. Why won't you just stop with the promises, because your promises are never fulfilled"

She frowned at me and then ran her fingers throw her hair. Tears still streamed down her face.

"I have never been in this situation before Loren. I have never cried over any girl other than my mother. I have never tripped over any other girl in my life. I have never been jealous. I have never caught feelings for a girl ever. I have never been in love before, I never cared about what some female thought of me before , I have never been so depressed because someone hated me. Loren I have never done or felt any of those ways until I met you, until I hurt you. And now I'm living with the consequences" she paused.

"You don't have to forgive me loren. But I'm just tired of you hating me. If I really wasn't truly sorry, I wouldn't be sitting here crying my eyes out to you Loren. I wouldn't have sat up at 2 o'clock with my mom crying to her about you. I wouldn't be begging for you to talk to me. I really wouldn't have. I'm just tired of you hating me..." She sniffed.

I looked away from the beach and at her. She was really sorry. She looked so vulnerable, like a lost puppy. That really affected me. I was tired of hating Jasmine too. It took a lot out of me to hold this grudge on my shoulders. But how could I forgive her for all she has put me through.