Silent Diaries: Book 1

Entry 1- Embarrassment

Loren

July 18, 2015.

It's better to be unhappy alone

Than unhappy with someone – so far.

~Marilyn Monroe

After 7 years Mother finally decides that we should leave. After the 7 years of Abuse, Pain, hurt, neglect, and unhappiness she gave us, now she decides to do something. My life has already been destroyed. My dignity is gone. My innocence- Taken. I'm filled with insecurities. I'm broken. That little 10 year old girl who used to run around full of joy has left. I can't remember when last I have smiled, when last I have laughed, when last I was happy. Sad, saddened, sadly.

Maybe I'm the cause of all the pain I went through.

Maybe I was too open.

Too willing.

Too nice.

Too joyful.

Too talkative.

Too Naïve.

I won't let it happen again. I won't let anyone in. I won't speak. And that's a promise.

~Silence is Golden~

~My Silent Diary

~Loren.

I closed my dairy and pushed it under my pillow. I looked around my new empty room. Boxes stacked up against the white walls, still waiting to be unpacked. We have been here only 2 days now and I have not touched a thing.

"Hey, you coming down?" My mother walked into my room, I looked at her and then at the open window.

"Still no words huh" she sighed.

"Well, when your ready come down stairs, your sister is outside getting some sunlight. Maybe you should join her." She said. I didn't say a word. I heard her walk away. I sighed. Not speaking is harder than it really seems. But I'll get used to it. I got out of my crisscross applesauce form and got out of my bed. I walked down stairs and into the living room, my mother was putting up pictures on the tables. Pictures of us, and him. How dare she still keep those? I shook my head and walked outside where I found my 7 year old sister playing in the grass, she looked so happy, she's always happy. Only because she doesn't know what hurt or pain is. I sat on the brick steps and watched her frolic around.

~

Jasmine

I grabbed my skateboard and jogged down stairs.

"I'm taking Oreo for a walk!" I told my mom as I grabbed her leash from off the rack.

"Okay, she's in the living area." My mom said. I nodded. I walked into the living room and Oreo laid on the rug licking her paws.

"Come on girl." I bent down calling her, she got up and ran to me, I pet her some and then hooked the leash to her collar.

"Alright, we out." I said to my mom and walked outside, Oreo trailed behind me. Once we got to the side walk I got on my skate board.

"Okay girl go!" I ordered, and she took off running down the street, I rode behind her holding on to her leash, soon enough she slowed down.

I slowly rode past houses waving at the people in the neighborhood I knew, who sat on their porches'. I heard Oreo barking, I frowned my eyebrows noticing the little girl running around in her front yard, I have never seen her before. In the same yard another girl sat on the porch steps, she was older, and cute. I caught my self-staring at her. Out of nowhere Oreo sped up causing me to lose my balance and fall off my skate board busting my ass. Oreo ran to the little girl who was laughing at me. This is so embarrassing. I got up and brushed myself off, I looked at the other girl, she was looking right at me, she didn't even crack a smile, she glanced down the street I did the same and noticed my skateboard rolling down the street.

"Shit!" I muttered, and then ran after it. Once I caught it I walked back. The little girl was playing with Oreo, but the other girl left. I sighed.

"She is so cute." The little girl giggled. I smiled.

"Her names Oreo."

"That's so cute, hey Oreo." she said as Oreo barked.

"My names Loura." she said smiling.

"Well I'm Jasmine," I said returning the smile.

"Was that girl your sister?" I asked.

"Yeah, that was Loren, she went inside. We just moved here, from New Jersey." she said.

Oh no this little girl talk too much.

"Well you'll love it here, everyone's nice." I said.

"Loura! It's time to come inside now honey." A lady yelled from the front door.

"Okay mom!" She stopped playing with Oreo, and I grabbed her leash.

"It was nice meeting you Jasmine, and you too Oreo!" she smiled.

"You too."

"Come on loura!" Her mom rushed.

"Ugh, I'm coming." she groaned and walked away.

I looked down at Oreo.

"Don't you eva try that slick shit again" I said sternly. She just looked at me, I rolled my eyes.

"Come on." I carried my skateboard and let Oreo walk around so she could do her business.

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