ᴍɪꜱꜱᴇᴅ ᴄᴀʟʟ | ᴇɴʜʏᴘᴇɴ ᴊᴀʏ ꜰꜰ

Dear Jiwon, VIII

September 30, 2021

Dear Jiwon,

I honestly don't know where I should start... It's been over a year since I last wrote to you. 

I've thought about you every day but I felt that it was no longer necessary to write to you. The feeling and the thought that you knew exactly what was going on was enough for me but I thought it would be a good idea to write today. 

Obviously, I still miss you and so does Jungwon. We still live together. Actually the three of us do. In Jay's apartment which now all three of us call home. 

Jay is studying in a nearby college learning about music with the full support of Mr. Park whom I have met(and I was so scared when I met him I almost ran away but he was an amazing person and father) and he has half support from both of his mothers. While studying he also has a part time job like both me and Jungwon and he's also looking for people to buy some of the songs that he's been working on. Belift Lab called 6 months ago, interested in his song 'Fever' and they actually bought it and its been released by a group of their company. Hybe entertainment has been in contact again offering to buy some of his songs, that's actually where he got from home from a couple of hours ago. 

It's been a month since I started my senior year in high school and Jungwon already took the GED test which he passed(but we knew that because he is the smartest out of the three). I've gotten close to Kim Sunoo, one of the victims that Jungwon was close to who decided to return to school, and Eunbyeol too, despite not being in the same school anymore. Turns out that she really is not a bitch. She really just had what happened in Kinder against us. I'm glad that I have friends and amazing people to rely on. There are times I have petty fights with Jay and they are there for me. Of course, Jungwon is there too but it feels different, you know? Anyway, they are amazing people to be friends with. It's not the same as having you but I love them just as much. 

I am still regretful for missing you call that day if I had to be honest. But I've learned to embrace this mistake like the rest. This mistake was a curse and a sort of blessing? I lost you. But through this mistake maybe it was a sign that I should let people in. You were with me since kindergarten and because of that I thought I only needed you but it seems that it's okay to let people in and rely on them. I have Eunbyeol, Sunoo, and Jay as additions now but I'm sure the future will bring more people in my life. 

I like to think that instead of destiny, it was you who put them in front of me, begging me to move on. I didn't want to let Jay in but then it just turned out that I would turn to love him. Eunbyeol, I would have never thought I would be friends with the person that brought so much pain to us. And Sunoo, the guy I "saved" a year ago. They were all unexpected but honestly needed. Maybe these thoughts are just illusions that I am making myself believe but I still want to thank you for putting them in front of even if it wasn't. Thank you Jiwon. I miss you and love you matter what.

This might be the last time I write to you, but it won't be the last time thinking about you nor looking back to these letters and the memories we have together.

I will forever love you. I will forever miss you. Let's see each other in our next.