[COMPLETE] Monster Hunter: The AU Collection

Monster Strip Club (sh1tpost) MHW Iceborne

Me (Julia) ft. Virtual_Insanity28 my homie (Gabby, I think)
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My POV

The strip club was full of dancing monsters and dragons. Small monsters were busy dancing in cages while hunters were tossing their zenny at a pole dancing Kulve Taroth.

I look around the place for my homie, Gabby. Eventually I spot her, waving her zenny at a Banbaro.

"Ayee!!!! Homie!" I shout to Gabby. The blonde girl looked around and smiled, waving her hand at me. "Ayo! Come here!"

I rush to Gabby. "Isn't this place amazing?" She asks. "Yes!" I reply.

"So....who we spending money on?"

"I'm spending all my money on this Banbaro while sipping my grasshopper." Gabby replied, taking a sip of her drink. "Oh cool."

Though the Banbaro had short arms, it made up for it by shaking its hips and tail while looking at us from behind. We both cheer and toss our stacks at it. The Banbaro winked at us and blushed.

"Oh, you're welcome!" The beast made a happy grunt as we walk away and explore the place some more.

Beside the Banbaro, a pole dancing Barroth was hitting that bump and grind to seduce the watchers onlooking, a busty curvy Velkhana was sliding down the pole, and finally, we reached the one dragon that really got my attention; the Alatreon. It was dancing ever so seductively.

"Now, I know that I have a thing for male hunters," I began, "but that shit is HOT!" I say, pointing. The Alatreon paused and snapped its head and gazed sharply into my eyes. It sexily sauntered over to me, took my delicate hand in his scaly talons, and stroked his chest with it. My face heated up as I tried to pull my hand away.

"You say I'm hot, eh?" The Alatreon asked in a sultry manner. "Well, how about I take you back to Elders Recess and give you a little taste of me?" Alatreon wiggled his brows. I took my hand off of his claws. "Um, no thank you please." The Alatreon frowned and blew smoke in my face.

"Man, I guess that one really is a jerk!"

"C'mon homie! Let's go explore some more!"

We had a good time at the monster strip club. Spending all our zenny on dancing dragons, and drinking grasshopper. We really loved our lives here.

We watched a Kulu Ya Ku dance in a cage. We got lap dances by two Jagras'. This was the life. We didn't care that it was late. We wanted to have fun and get rowdy with the monsters.

Music blasted the the speakers. Rap, rock and trap music played from every corner of the club. The monster strippers danced and shook their bodies to the beat, causing the hunters and wyverians to go insane.

When the music said to, "get low," the monsters got low. When it said to "shake that ass," they shook their asses.

The two of us stopped by a Fatalis doing its dances. Gabby and I cheered it on and tossed our money.

"WhoOOOOO!! Work that pole, history!"

"Super Nova my ass, you dragon slut." A hunter next to us interjected. Gabby and I paused and giggled at the hunter.
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It was really late out. Gabby and I were getting really bored of the strip club.

"Man, I've seen all the monsters! Is there anything else besides this?"

"I don't know-"

Just then, the club went pitch black. The upbeat music stopped, and the hunters paused. A spotlight shone on a red curtain. The curtains pulled away only to reveal Master Utsushi clad in very skimpy armor. And wait, WAS HE WEARING A THONG!?!!!!

Gabby and I screamed and squealed loudest of all, like the fangirls we are. Utsushi was dancing and grinding his hips to the music. I thought I was gonna have a nosebleed from all the hotness I was seeing.

Utsushi then shook his body around as the music was finishing. I let out one last shriek of enjoyment as I got a huge nosebleed and fainted.
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I don't remember what happened then, but I woke up in my bed. Next to me was a note. I picked it up and read it.

Julia,

You fainted during Utsushi's performance. So I had to carry you back home.
Read this if you are up now.

Gabby, your homie

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WTFFF IS WRONG WITH MEEEEEE BAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!,🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣