Althea

Part Twenty Four

After waking up in bed some time after the movie finished, I ended up staying in bed for a couple more days until my sinuses cleared, my throat was no longer scratchy, and my head finally stopped pounding.

Now I'm lying here, Bucky's arm slung over my stomach as he dreams, completely pinned to the bed. I try to wriggle out from underneath him but regret it instantly when he groans and pulls me into him.

"Bucky... I need to get up."

He replies with a groan, and I can't help but smile.

"Buck, if you don't let me go my brothers will break down the door."

We had planned a day together now that I'm feeling better. I didn't know what was planned, but I was excited to spend the day with them, and also excited to get out of the compound.

Bucky reluctantly loosens his grip on me and I plant a quick kiss on his cheek before walking over to my wardrobe to pick out an outfit, something comfortable but on the nicer side.

I quickly have a shower, get dressed, and sort out my hair which had become a tangled mess over the last few days, and then step back into my bedroom, where Bucky is now sitting upright but still looking like he's half asleep.

"Good morning sleepy head."

"Looks like you're all recovered then." His husky morning voice sends tingles down my spine and I can't help the blush that heats up my cheeks.

"Yup, I'm all better. Must've been my wonderful boyfriend who took care of me so well."

A sleepy smile takes over his face as I walk back to the bed, sitting just next to him.

"Do I still get you for dinner tonight?"

I nod, "six o'clock, right?"

"That's the one, I'll meet you out front."

"I can't wait." I give him what was supposed to be a quick kiss, but quickly get lost in the moment. We only manage to break apart when someone knocks on the door and then shouts.

"Sister, hurry up! You're late."

I give Bucky one last peck on the lips then go out to meet my brothers, and as I open the door Loki has raised his arm as if he's about to knock again.

"I'm here, calm down brother."

Loki rolls his eyes at me but I can see a hint of a smile creeping through.

"Where are we off to then?"

Thor speaks up from behind Loki to give me the coordinates, and I open up a portal for us all to step through. When I step through the portal I almost freeze in place, looking around at the open field that surrounds us, and the cliff just ahead.

"Is this-" I can't finish my sentence, my eyes wide and staring out at the space in front of me.

"I told you this was a bad idea." Loki says from somewhere behind me, and then I feel a hand on my shoulder.

"Are you alright?" I turn to meet Thor's gaze and somehow manage a nod.

"I just never thought I'd be standing here... when he - when I saw him die I-" I take a deep breath, "I just wish I got to say goodbye."

I can feel both of their eyes on me as I walk towards the rock that is sitting just by the edge of the cliff sitting where he once sat.

"You could say goodbye now, kind of like a memorial." Loki says, taking a seat next to me.

As Thor sits on the other side of me I softly nod, taking a moment to gather my thoughts.

"For years I hated you." I start, tears already starting to form in my eyes, but somehow I manage to hold them in.

"I hated that you sent me away, that I never got to see you, or mother, or my brothers. I hated that I was stuck all alone with that priestess, trying to learn to control this uncontrollable power. I thought that perhaps you hated me, and that's why you sent me away. After all, could I not have learned all that I was learning from our home?"
A single tear runs down my cheek and I quickly wipe it away.
"But then my power truly grew, and I understood. I knew why I couldn't stay. It wasn't safe for anyone, and if I had stayed I could have hurt people. That was when I realized that I was wrong, you didn't send me away because you hated me, you did it because you loved me. You cared too much to put me through the pain of what I would've gone through if any harm had come to our family or our people.
You loved me too much.

That doesn't mean it stopped hurting, I missed you every single day, and I would wish for the days I would get to see you. Holding onto those small snippets of time we had together. Holding onto the love that I felt radiating from you, and the pride whenever you learned of my developments.
But then you would leave and it hurt all over again. I longed for the day that I would get to come home, and we could all be a family again, and you would hold me tight and tell me those stories of your adventures.
When mother died I wanted to come home so badly. I waited for you to come. But that was when I lost control all over again, and somehow I think you knew that which is why you never did. I have to believe that once again, you were doing it out of love."

Thor takes my hand in his as Loki wipes another tear from my cheek.

"And then, just as I was gaining control again, preparing myself to come home to you, I lost you too. I watched you leave without saying goodbye. That's when I knew I had to come home, and then I found out you had all memory of me wiped, and a part of me broke all over again.
When I came home and couldn't get into the palace because no one remembered I existed, and then my own brothers didn't recognize me. I wondered why you would have done that, how could you send someone you love away, and then erase them from everyone's memories?
And then I got to know my brothers and I think I understand now. These two idiots wouldn't have let you keep me there, even if it was the right thing to do.
I understand that what you were doing was the right thing to do, I just wish we had more time together.

But now I'm here, with these two, and I have a whole new family surrounding me. I wish you could meet them, especially Bucky.
He's my everything, and I don't know what I'd do without him. I think you would like him too. Actually, maybe not at first because he'd be introduced as my boyfriend and I don't think you'd be happy about that, but then you would get to know him and you'd see how amazing he is.
Don't worry, Thor and Loki have given him a very stern talking to already so he hasn't missed that, and I'm sure if he was to hurt me - which I think is impossible - they would deal with him accordingly." A short laugh escapes my lips and I turn to see Thor and Loki smiling softly.

I take one more deep breath before saying the last words

"I miss you, and I forgive you."

I don't know how long we sit there for, looking out at the ocean, but I feel at peace. I feel like a part of me had the chance to heal, and that maybe now I can move on from my immediate grief. Even though I know that the grief will never truly go away, I feel like it might be walking beside me now rather than holding me back.

"Thank you for bringing me here, it's been perfect." I squeeze both Loki and Thor's hands which are holding on to each of mine. 

"I'm glad we were able to bring you some peace, sister."

I rest my head on Loki's shoulder in response and continue staring out at the ocean, watching the movement of the water. We spend a little bit longer there and then decide to head back to the compound so I can start getting ready for dinner and they can do whatever they had planned - they mentioned something about arranging a journey back to Asgard some time soon.

"Have a great evening sister." Thor says as he wraps me in a hug, followed by Loki.

"I'm sure I will. Thank you again for today."

"You don't need to thank us."

I almost disagree with what Thor says before he wraps me in one more quick hug and the two of them walk off in the direction of the living room, so I turn and head up to my bedroom, I have an hour and a half to get ready for dinner with Bucky.