hot neighbor (erenxreader) 18+

Chapter 26

I don't know if he wanted me to know he was crying, so I didn't turn around yet. I place my palms on his arms in a sign of comfort. But, it seemed like Eren took it the wrong way, as he moved away from me in a second. I turn around to face him, seeing his red eyes and traces of tears on his face.

"I'm sorry... I know you want me to stay away..." He said quietly and looked down in shame. He licked his lips, along with the tears that were on there, making me look at them. They looked so ready for me to kiss them, but at the same time, I didn't know what I should do. Eren wouldn't talk to me about what's going on, at least not right now. Maybe I should just try to make him feel better, without knowing anything?

"I can leave if I made you uncomfortable" We look into each other's eyes at the same time. A lot of things were not clear to me right now, but one was - I wanted him to stay. I wanted to be with him, tell him it's going to be alright. I take his hand in mine and give him a smile.

"Aren't you hungry?" I lifted up my eyebrows and ask him, wanting to lighten up the mood.

"Food always makes me feel better." I say and lightly drag him to the couch. I came back for the plates and the handed him one. He smiles at me and takes it, as I sit down opposite of him. His portion was obviously bigger, but he was done before me. By the looks of it, he liked it. I was feeling kind of glad, even more than I thought I would. Eren placed the plate on the small table and turned to me, who was still eating.

"You were right, food does make you feel better." He leaned back and chuckled. I don't know if it's inappropriate to say it now, but he looked adorable. He had an oversized hoodie on, and his face was little puffy from crying. I just want to throw everything away and cuddle with him. He suddenly got up and went to the table, taking his small bag from before. He sat down again and I see him take out a few boxes of medication, they were all in form of pills. He opened them and took one of each, before putting it in his mouth and swallowing it. There was a cup of water on the table, so he drank the whole thing. He had to have all of these, just so he could function normally. It was hard to see him like this.. he seemed so weak, and he didn't have that confident aura around him like usual. It was the raw him, right in front of me. He didn't speak much, but I think he just didn't want to say anything he would regret later, and that made me feel sad. I put my plate on the table too, even though I wasn't finished. I sit a little closer to him, and he didn't move. He just watched me, waiting to see what I was going to do. I take his both hands in mine and caress them with my thumbs.

"I hate seeing you like this... I see you're in pain, but I feel like I'm so far away from you, I can't even help you." I press my lips together after I speak. Eren was gently holding my hands back, so it gave me the courage to continue.

"You don't have to tell me... but please, promise me you'll stay safe... You have to..." He looked down at our hands and gulped. His eyes were furrowed, and he was biting on his lower lip. I was about to let go of his hands, but he held them firmly.

He looked up and stared at my face with his gentle gaze. But, it wasn't so long until it was removed from my eyes, and went down to my lips. He didn't even tried to hide it, like he wanted me to see it clearly. My lips suddenly felt dry so I licked them, Eren mirroring my action immediately. There was this tension around us, but no one did anything. I knew he wouldn't just throw himself on me, but he would be careful.

"I thought it would be easy..." He whispered, his eyes glued on my lips.

"To forget you... your beautiful face, your lips..." I listened to him speaking, afraid if I move or make any sound he would stop.

"But I'm not worth it... not worth of your love, of your anything" His eyes seemed to water again. He let go of my hands completely now, and my palms felt empty.