𝙑𝙞𝙗𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙉'𝙃𝙤𝙪𝙨𝙩𝙤𝙣

Chapter 𝙁𝙤𝙪𝙧𝙩𝙚𝙚𝙣

Dynera (Die) Ericks
Nina's Townhouse
9:24 a.m.

I can't stop sobbing. It feels like Enez had been my first budding love and had been ripped off the stem.

"Enez, you gotta take a break," Nina mumbled, still holding my untouched bottle of water. She had been saying that for a few minutes now, holding my body as I cry holes into her shirt.

It feels like there isn't enough...pain out of me.

Why do I feel like Enez died?

Why did I keep putting off a relationship with her?

Why do I have so many regrets?

"She's- She's-

"I know," Nina tells me soothingly.

"My people won't be home until a few hours after school," she mentions randomly after a moment. "We'd be in third period right now," she then adds.

"Yeah," I whisper.

She seemed surprised that I could talk and not cry for a moment. She practically shoved my water bottle at me. "Here. Drink." I sip the now lukewarm water and I don't bother trying to stop my hands from shaking. "She'll find a way to come back, Die. I know she will," Nina assured me.

Her face looked heartbroken too, but I could tell she was adjusting to things. For me- it felt like my world was ending.

I lay against Nina's chest, feeling empty.

"I hope no one dies out of this," I comment.

"Yeah, I did give her an illegal gun," Nina comments back. I jump up, eyes wide. "What Nina?"

"Did you expect it to be legally mine? I'm too young remember," Nina says, face honest. I sigh, realizing that she's right. "How did you get it?"

"Friend stole it from a pawn shop," Nina shrugged.

I hate how Enez and her do that. Like everyday bad shit is normal...Enez. My mind keeps drifting back to her. I feel the sobs about to start again, but Nina grips my arm tightly. "I'm gonna text my parents and let them know what happened. You should too because they're probably going crazy. You know, only child parents are a different breed," Nina attempted to laugh.

I followed along, hiccuping.

Nina was my reality right now and Enez seemed to be a dream turning to a nightmare. I was caught between both worlds. "I'm sorry," Nina whispers softly, still hugging me.

"This must be some cruel trick by the universe, Nina," I look up as one tear dribbles down my cheek. My throat is sore and my body aches. It's like my every being is in agony about the fact that Enez was just ripped away from me.

"She had to do what was best for Eda," Nina reminds me. "Family above everything, okay? You can't blame her-

"I don't. I blame anybody after her and her parents. I blame Londynn and that Laffy-Taffy-hair bitch! I blame all of them," I sob. Nina only sighs, holding me again as I start crying.

"If there was no one to blame anymore. Who could be to blame?" Nina asks me quietly.

But I ignore her because I don't know. I don't know anything right now and I don't want to. All I want is Eda and Enez safe- and for Enez to be with me. In my arms and kissing me.

Enez Lyons
Matte Black Kia
9:32 a.m.

"Just a little bit further," I sigh.

Eda and I had been pushing my car for a few blocks now. I could see the sign of the gas station in the distance. Only maybe fifteen more blocks from us. "We're gonna make it, Eda," I rasp, trying to force myself to keep pushing.

Eda only nods, her mind focused on the task at hand. It seemed like every setback took the little sister I used to know away from me. I could see it in her face. Her innocence and her happiness was slowly ebbing away- and I couldn't bare to see it slip off. Even if I had to paint it back on. I have to make sure my little sister is safe.

We finally reach the gas station and I tell Eda to sit inside and wait while I pay. I honestly didn't want her to have all that time to think. To possibly blame me for not being the best person I could be. To think about what could happen to us. But she needed to rest and I needed human contact besides my younger sister.

I needed something normal, even if only for a moment. "Hello," I nod at the cashier. I go and get us some snacks, then pay for the gas. I feel dizzy, tensed, and anxious as I walk up to the register but I play it off as my body's exhaustion from pushing my vehicle.

"Not in school?" he asks me.

I give him an annoyed look. Since when was this some 80s movie where all the adults look out for the kids and let them buy cigarettes or whatever the hell?

"I'm 18. College freshman," I emphasize my words.

He only shrugs, but I can't tell whether he believes me or not. "Man, I get that way too much," I mumble to myself, hoping he'll overhear. Yeah, it bothered me that he could tell I was in high school, but what bothered me the most is the danger it could put Eda and I in.

Eventually cops will be looking for us and I can't have the Baltimore gang nor the cops finding us.

Eda and I can make it on our own. We'll be fine and we can hide out until things cool over. What good would come from us living a Witness Protection life? Or snitching? I just have to remember...I have to...

It felt like I was falling.

"Enez!" my sister shouted from the car.

A stabbing pain was in my chest, making me cry out in pain as I fell to the pavement. It felt like my heart was being squeezed by an angry office man who thought it was a stress ball. I withered on the ground, my eyes blurry with tears and colors as Eda screamed over me for help.

I could see the cashier and other people running over to marvel at me, but I was in pain.

I had seen my parent's leave off- hopefully to a better place. It had been like they died. Maybe now I was going to hell.

Suddenly my stealing, my smart words to people, me breaking Dynera's heart, every bad thing I had done- seemed to pile into my crowded mind. I was gasping for air but every time I breathed it made me cry in pain. It was a vicious cycle, and it felt like my lungs were being cut by claws. I ached everywhere and felt horrible.

"...heart attack!" I heard someone saying.

"Enez please!" my sister cried.

"...just came in the store..."

I can't leave Eda behind.

"...missing from school?"

"...junior at Pastrami..."

I can't leave Eda behind.

"Eda," I whisper.