Tokyo Revengers || Craving I

༒ᴄʜᴀᴘᴛᴇʀ 73༒

The first thing Koko noticed was the head splitting pounding of his head. 

Groaning in pain, he tried to open his eyes but that was the second thing he noticed. 

The way too bright light, that hurt his eyes, that was shining through the window. 

The third thing he noticed was your absence when he called out to you in a groggy voice, his arm weakly extending out to feel your presence, your skin under his finger tips just to be met with nothing. 

Trying to pry his eyes open once more, he turned towards your empty spot, now calling out to you louder, hoping you would respond. Hoping you would be there somewhere, be it the kitchen of bathroom. 

He repeatedly, almost desperately called out your name several times when his maid bursted through the door in panic. "What's wrong sir?! Are you hurt?!", she rushed towards his bed side, trying to help him sit up but he just pushed her aside, stumbling out of the bed, still completely naked as he rushed out the hallway, looking for you. 

"Where is she?! Where is (y/n)?!", he almost snapped. The maid mumbled something behind him, making him turn around and snap at her to speak louder. "She went out and told me to tell you... not to wait for her as she was gonna stay at Sir Kakuchos apartment", "why?!", "I don't know, Sir. But If I can allow myself to comment something... Miss (l/n) looked... disappointed when she woke up. She seemed sad..!" 

Upon hearing that, Koko immediately rushed towards his bedroom, looking for his phone as the only thing on his mind was your well being. His mind drifted towards yesterday... maybe he was to harsh on you? Too aggressive? He didn't had full control of his mind and body at the time.. He should've taken his time with you, should've slowed down when you told him to. 

Well, he at least thought that this was the problem. 

Only if that would've been the problem, that would've been forgivable... calling out another bitches name, wasn't.

Well now here you were, your head in Inupis lap as his fingers were softly entangled in your hair, playing with it. Caressing your head. "I know you might not wanna talk about it. Since you just bursted through my door but if you need to let something out of your chest.. you can tell me", he said, watching your form as your eyes were closed. 

A hand was wrapped around his, that was lazily hanging atop of your hip, resting on your stomach. "I'm tired and pissed", "how come?"

You sighed, "honestly... sometimes I wish I was a dumb fuck."

He chuckled at that, as you turned to lay on your back, facing him. "Why?", if your connections were right, you were about to come full cycle.

"Inupi... if you don't mind me asking this.. it has been bugging me quite some time now... what was your sisters name?", he looked at you, confusion crossing his face for a split second. Not knowing why you would want to know now, out of all times.. hesitating, unsure if he should tell you or not, he opened his mouth. It wouldn't hurt to tell you, right? 

And for another time, you felt your heart drop upon hearing the name of Kokos first love and the person that fucked up a whole friendship, ".. Akane.." 

Keeping a straight face, you let a smile appear on your lips. A beautiful actress smile... 

an actor... that's what you were. 

"Ah~, what a beautiful name she had", "why did you wanted to know?", "I'm just way too curious.... for my own good", you grinned. 

"Curiosity killed the cat (L/N), you gotta be careful", he chuckled, playfully warning you to stay away from trouble. You chuckled back.. "if you only knew", you joked back. 

You wish he would've noticed the hurt that shone in your eyes as the only thought that circled in your head was simply one.. 

curiosity already killed me.. I'm pretty much dead.

Inupi dropped you off at Kakuchos apartment, obviously not knowing it was his, before driving to work. 

As soon as you entered the lobby and drove up to the top floor, you checked your phone. Huffing out in slight annoyance, you noticed all the missed calls and text messages from Koko. Obviously he would call and message you. Who can blame him when you just disappeared without further notice except for, "I'm out and I ain't coming back lol". 

Not even a slightest bit surprised when you saw him in front of Kakuchos apartment door, hunched over with his head hung low, waiting for your arrival. 

"Shouldn't you be at work?", you softly asked, making him jump up. "I don't feel good", he mumbled, unable to meet your eyes. He was surprised to hear you speak so softly to him and even more surprised when he heard you sigh, ushering him inside. Telling him to lay down on the couch, when you went ahead to prepare a soup in the kitchen. 

You tried to recall what your best friend used to do when she felt like shit after taking a bit too much of her usual stash but in all honesty, there wasn't much you could do anyway. 

You remember, she simply slept it all out, nothing more, nothing less. 

"You're mad, I can tell! Please tell me what I did so I can properly apologize and reflect on it! I'll even buy you anything you want just to see you smile at me again", you felt his presence behind you, startling you as he wrapped his arms around your waist.

"please talk to me! I beg you!" 

You felt him muzzle his face into your back as you tried to think your next words through. Throwing your head back, you closed your eyes and sighed. Feeling him tense up. 

"you know.. Throughout the years I noticed how people liked to avoid the truth because they're afraid that It will destroy their illusion...", "what do you mean?"

Turning around in his arms you cupped his cheeks, pressing your nose against his and nuzzling it as you closed your eyes once more. The little gesture, bringing him some sort of fake peace. Though he felt deep down, that this was just an illusion. A fake reassurance. 

The calm before the storm.

Letting your head drop, you leaned your forehead against his chest. Your heart heavy in your chest as you prepared yourself to say the next words to him. 

Knowing you would hurt him in a way, he didn't thought he would get hurt ever again.

"Koko...", you sighed sadly, "I'm so sorry that you had to go through so much.. I'm sorry that you were too late... I'm sorry that you feel like the only valuable thing is money and that's the only thing you have left... I'm so sorry... but... I can't be a replacement. Not again. I won't be able to handle this", "w.. what are you talking about?", "I'm so so sorry, Koko... but..", looking up at him, he saw the tears making it past your eyes as you recalled your past

"... I'm not her... I'm not... 

I'm not Akane"