Tokyo Revengers || Craving I

༒ᴄʜᴀᴘᴛᴇʀ 84༒

Akashi was kind enough to let you stay alone at his guest room. He was true to his words. Letting you be alone for yourself, by yourself so you would actually be able to relax and calm down again. 

You needed it. You so desperately needed it. 

He had left for work after dropping you off at his penthouse. Now you were just lounging in the living room, sprawled on the couch as you looked out of the floor to ceiling windows. The TV in the background playing some show. 

Your mind drifted towards your nightmare again. All the faces and people you knew, swirling around in your head. You partially knew, that the reason for this nightmare was simple. Shocking news, paired with your traumatic past in addition to your kidnapping and witnessing what they're doing on top of what they're doing with you. 

Yeah, must've been a simple reflection of that. 

Yet you couldn't shake the unsettling gut feeling off. 

Sighing, you shifted around, your cat neatly tugged underneath your arm as you closed your eyes, drifting off to sleep. After all, Akashi did told you to sleep in and be lazy, might as well take up on that offer, not really wanting to deal with the haunting thoughts that consumed your head. 

When you opened your eyes again, you didn't thought you would be met with darkness though.

Rubbing your eyes, you looked around. Noticing that even your cat was now gone. Standing up, you shuffled down the hallway, just to see a light peek from the half opened door, that was down the hall. Akashis office. Knocking softly on the door, he replied in a light tone, that you can enter. 

You saw him type something on his laptop, Bub snoozing away on his lap. "I feel like, he likes you more than me", you softly replied, pouting slightly as you stood now next to him. Looking at your sleeping cat. 

"Nah, he just came to me because you accidentally pushed him off", "oh.. damn..", "you can take him back if-", "no.. he's sleeping so soundlessly. I don't wanna wake him", "understandable.. I'll finish this and then I'll have time to talk. Only if you want to, of course", "have you eaten yet?", you asked to which he just shook his head, "didn't had the time yet", "I'll prepare something small, real quick", "if you want to", to which you only hummed a yes, making your way out of his office.

You kinda wanted to do something as a little thank you for taking you in and actually giving you time away from Bonten.

It was a small gesture and maybe absolutely nothing to him but it was so so much for you. Nobody could even imagine. So as you prepared some snacks for the night and he finished his paper work, you both sat on the bar stools of his kitchen island. Silently munching on the sandwiches. 

You appreciated the fact that Akashi was giving you space. 

Not pestering you with questions. 

Cause even if you wanted to talk, you couldn't. You have been talking to Nat without them knowing. They didn't know that you were in contact with their old friends and with people from your hometown. It was risky, the entire time, yet you did it anyways. After all, nobody had found out yet. Though now you were stuck in a situation where you actually, desperately, needed someone to talk and cry to. 

Yet you couldn't. Cause officially, you didn't had a reason to. 

"You have been staring awfully long at your sandwich. It won't eat by itself like that", Akashi replied, lighting up a cigarette beside you as he stood up to get himself a glass. Taking out a whisky bottle from the top kitchen shelve, he sat back down next to you. Filling his glass and taking a sip. 

"Can I ask you something?", "sure", "Can you.. tell me how Nats doing?" 

You knew it was a foolish thing to ask. Going twice through the pain of hearing that he was indeed dead, yet it would give you a reason to officially mourn. Akashi eyed you before taking a puff out of his cigarette, "you probably know more about his status than I do", "how can I know? I don't know anything!", "why?", "what do you mean, why?", "Why are you lying?"

Looking at him with wide eyes and confusion evident on your face, he shook his head slightly. 

"Tell me honestly what's going on. If you're already talking, you might as well don't do it half assed", he pointed out, taking another sip from his whisky. 

Sighing, you softly shoved the plate with the sandwich away before you started to fidget with your fingers. "I.. I can't tell you", "If you're scared I will tell it Kakucho, Sanzu or even Mikey, don't worry. I don't care enough for that." 

You glanced at him, studying his expression and face when you sighed out, hesitantly answering, "Nat... died.. I heard about it yesterday", "my condolences", "thanks." Silence settled in between you two before he emptied his whisky glass and stood up. 

"I'll head to bed", was all he replied before walking past you, patting your head and walking to his bedroom. And despite the need of comfort and the urge to cry, you were thankful. Thankful that Akashi wasn't a person to be persistent and clingy. A person that wasn't sticking his nose into your business. 

That was something you were truthfully thankful for cause in some way, maybe it was better that he didn't care. 

Maybe it was better that he sucks at comforting people. 

Cause you could finally mourn in peace, without the constant reassuring words of "everything will be alright", and "you're a strong girl, you'll get through this", that were constantly hammered into your mind to the point of feeling complete numbness as you couldn't even properly cry without someone talking in between. 

And as you made your way to your bedroom, softly calling out to bub who came running to you. Settling in between the sheets and letting bub lay down beside you. For once, in a long time, you felt a small genuine smile appear on your face despite the tears that were rolling down your cheeks. 

Your chest filling with warmth as you bid Nat and bub goodnight.. Wishing Nat peace in the after life and to finally be able to rest easy. Telling him and yourself, "Don't worry about me.. I'll be fine", before you drifted off to sleep once more. 

Cause as Akashi said, you could sleep all day and you might as well do so.