Shakhi- Mujhe Teri Zaroorat Hai!

11. Guilty!

Shaurya's POV

"Pehle hi mere liye chize awkward ho gayi hai... pehle bina baat break up hogya... fir yaha aana pada... aur kal raat Anokhi!!!!"

 I don't know why it felt so good with her!! But look at her today, she was trying to be near me..well yeah I was ignoring her and behaving strangely. But what else can I do!? Agar use sab yaad hota na..to vo bhi yahi karti! Or abhi to usne hadh hi kardi..sabke samne bin soche kuch bhi kehdia..is she out of her mind." I blabbered as I entered my room. 

I was literally freaking out with anger and disappointment. She has disappointed me to another level. How can she just...!!? This is literally an unwarranted intrusion in my life.

I was fuming with anger when I heard a soft knock on my door. I opened it only to find Rudra standing before me.

"Shaurya...!"

"I'm sorry, Mai batana chahta tha but mai khud is chiz se deal nahi kar paa raha tha...yaar!" I tried to make them understand my situation.

"It's okay Shaurya! Calm down!"

"Aur Ha, Anokhi ko kuch mat kehna bas... use laga ke mujhe pata hoga... isliye usse galti hogyi..!"

"Mai kaha usse bat kar raha hu subah se or ab to bilkul nahi...she has disappointed me. She can't even hide a truth!"

"Arre tujhe pata hai na ladies ke pet me ek bhi baat pach nahi sakti na... hahah!" He said suddenly. And I just smiled faintly.

"Vese tu use subah se ignore kyu kar Raha ho!?" Rudra asked all smirking.

"Aur use breakup ka kese pata? Or please Bhai sab sach bataio... main tere sath hun!" Rudra said. And I was in a fix that how could I tell them about me and Anokhi.
It was something so..! Personal?

Don't know!!!!

I told him how she came to hear everything by mistake when I was on the call with Shagun. He understood and hugged me.

"Bhaii tu khush reh bas! Dukhi na ho jaada!" He smiled at me.

"Ha! Par use ignore kyu kar raha tha..ye to bata!?" Rudra again stressed this question.

"Vo...! Kuch nahi... aise hi"

"Bata chup chaaap!"

"WeHadASmallMakeOutSessionLastNight" I said in a go in a very low voice.

He exclaimed "What? Mujhe kuch sunai nahi diya!"

"We Had a small make-out session last night!"

"WHAT???" He was looking at me with bulging eyes.

"Bhai.. ab mai kya hi bolu?! sahi khle gaya tu toh!!"

I told him how we were under the effect of alcohol and it was not so serious.

"But ab mai kya karunga bhai??"

"Hey bhagwaaan tujhse isse aage bhi kuch karna hai?? Sab toh kar liya tune kal raat ko.
Aur jyada garmi aa rahi toh marry her, fir jo karna hai... jitna marzi karna hai kar lena!"

"huh?? Are you crazy? mai pooch raha tha ki how to say sorry to her??"

"Forget it now... tell me what exactly happened last night?"

"We danced together, we kissed..... wait? Why the hell am I supposed to tell you what happened last night. Rudy marr khayega tu mujhse!!!"
"But I'm soo guilty yaar!!"

"But kyuuu?? tune uske saath zabardasti nahi kari thi. tum dono nashe me the yaar ho jata Hai kabhi kabhi... tu itna guitly feel mat kar! And vaise bhi tera koi bura intention nahi tha bas galti ho gayi yaar!"

"Ye meri aakhiri galti thi. Ab mai bas usse koi bat nahi karunga..no talks! Nothing! Or vese bhi iske bad to hum milenge bhi ni . To bas fir!!" I told him straightforwardly.

"Don't take decisions in haste. Bhai! She is a nice girl." Rudra said.

"Yeah I know right. But I need a break. Mai bahut exhausted hu apni life se. Ab tu hi bata do hafto me chaar saal ki yaade jaati hai kya?"

"But you felt good with Anokhi? Right?'' He asked.

I was stunned at his question and he was unable to control his laugh at my reaction. "Aisa... Kuch nahi hai! Shut up yaar!" I told him, while I was myself confused.

Soon after a little chit-chat, they retired to their respective rooms and I was still wondering about Rudy's question. Did I feel good? With Anokhi? Is she affecting me? This soon? Was I ever in love with Shagun? God!!! I stared at the ceiling. All the events of the past two weeks swimming in my head.

I raked my hand through my hair. I was so blank. I had decided the very moment Shagun broke up, that I would never let woman enter my life again. I mean it would be disgust. Because I know one thing that you can't call it love when you can easily move on from it!

But the question is was I ever in love with Shagun or it was just a relationship we were running!? 

And what I felt with Anokhi was so powerful. Even if for one hour. I didn't feel it with Shagun in four years.
But when she came in my contact, I was on fire. The tension between my legs increased. I tried to sleep while I was thinking all this but it never came.

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I am stressed to a level that I can't even put into words. But I have to vent it out anyhow. I'm finally back in my house, pacing across the room thinking about the recent happenings...

I don't know what to do. Akele ghutan si hoti hai..! I even haven't unpacked my things for two weeks. Because after returning back, I have just cried and ignored each call I received. Some of them were of Anokhi. But I wasn't in the mood to listen..to her especially. 

I didn't take proper sleep and even didn't take a proper diet. Whenever I think about Shagun and me then just pain, memories, bad memories, guilt, and frustration surround me. I wasn't able to run a relationship. Why am I so bad? Why am I so flawed? Why?? 

"You Don't deserve my love shaurya !" I remember Shagun yelling this to me on my phone several times. "You are so imperfect...kyu nahi bata te sabko mere bare me??" She always yelled at me like this whenever we fought. And yeah she is right!!! She is damn right!! I always do wrong things..! I can't control my emotions at times.

I was sitting on the floor near my sofa and table when my swollen teary eyes fell on a piece of paper. I hadn't taken care of my house for the past month.
God!! I'm a big disappointment. I opened the single fold of the short note and it read "Never said earlier but now I must do that, you deserve all the love and care in this world PS!"

No name was mentioned who left it but I know she is Anokhi. It's just her who calls me PS. Even when I don't want to face her, (I'm not ready) but she made me feel good!? I don't know why but uninvitedly a smile crept on my wet face. And it was genuine.

I can't do this to myself. "Just ek bat yaad rakhna that you have people who wait for your return!"  Someone's lines came into my mind and I know where I belong. To my parents! I need them! I need to go. I called my Driver to take out the car. I'm Driving to Kapurthala!
"I just need my Mumma right now."

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Precap: "Tum ek din bhi muje chain se nahi rehne dogi na. Pehle hi itna pareshan hu mai..tum upar se pure time mujhe guilty feel karati ho... Kabhi to please Mujhe akela chod do. Jao! Pleasee leave, Get the hell out of my house!!"  

Finally ab Shaurya Devdas Sabherwal ka the end ho chuka hai. Ab kapurthala me shuru hogi Shaurya Aur Anokhi Ki Kahani!! 

So how was the chapter? I felt I was quite boring, what about you?? Please do vote and comment on your feedback.

And, Actually, I'm kinda out of ideas...so if you have any ideas or a particular track that you want in the story, you can comment or dm me. I'll try to put them in the story. 

Signing off~ 

Pihu...