Jealous? No, I Couldn't Be!

5.3K 184 150
                                    

Chuuya was far from naive and gullible. He was far from easy prey. You could even say the ginger didn't trust it easily. Ever since his incident with Shirase, he hadn't been able to get close to very many people. It wasn't that he didn't want to; he only feared ending up in the same feelings that had accrued from that incident. Those he trusts, he trusts with his whole being, he'll always back them up. Chuuya's loyalty to those he cared about could not be rivaled. That loyalty was his gullibility. He did trust Fyodor, he may not trust him as well as he trusted Dazai, but it was still something. That was the only reason this happened.

Dazai found it impossible to avoid Chuuya, so instead decided he'd lie to himself further. If he couldn't get rid of the feelings, he'd tell himself it wasn't attraction. He'd tell himself that it was his heart opening up to his first real friend. That would keep him calm and sane for the time being. To prove it further, he'd slip into habits he'd ignored for a while. He'd go out with girls, have a good time, and leave to lay in his bed scrolling through his phone.

The words he'd said a week ago at the Karaoke night shouldn't have slipped through his lips. If it had been just Chuuya that night without Fyodor, it would have been alright. Most of the night was a blur, but he knew Fyodor had to have heard him. Knowing that man's obsession with toying and making others suffer, it was only a waiting game before he found his entertainment by pulling the two apart. Dazai shook his head, why does he care? He doesn't, even if Chuuya ends up falling for Fyodor's ridiculous words, he won't care. It's his own fault if he gets hurt. If Chuuya gets hurt... why, why did that thought make his chest tight... it felt like he couldn't breathe, it was an unbearable feeling he couldn't shake. Yet whenever he was near Chuuya, he hid it. With his jokes, he dodged admitting what was really behind these thoughts and feelings. With his mocking taunts, he avoided letting Chuuya know anything.

While Dazai spent his time avoiding the truth and avoiding himself, Fyodor was at work with his games. The false gentle words, the impossible lies that were spoken with such assurance nobody but Dazai would see through them. The gentle touches showed no hostility. The reassurance about Dazai, he played every action with precise calculation. If Dazai truly wished to, he could do this too. It was relatively easy to feign emotions and learn everything about another person by a single interaction. Fyodor had spent enough night alongside both Dazai and Chuuya to get an idea about their relationship... and where he could crack and shatter things for his own amusement. He'd once had a conversation with Dazai about such things. Of course, when Fyodor had asked why Dazai thought they were different, his response came easily.

"I am not above the rest of humanity. My intelligence makes me inhuman, but I'm no god. I don't find peace or entertainment with people... even if I had once been similar, we are not the same." He had spoken with such assurance it was amusing. Dazai, who had played with people's hearts only to snap and trample on them, had spoken these words. He'd split couples apart and enjoyed watching torment, to think such a black heart could be completely overturned. Fyodor knew he'd changed after his attempt. He suspected most of it had to do with Odasaku. However, the more time he spent observing Chuuya and Dazai, the more he came to realize it was Chuuya who'd done the most to change Dazai. He'd never seen Dazai truly smile, nor had he witnessed a soft expression that hadn't been forced. It was truly interesting.

Chuuya was not easy to win over in the slightest, but nobody stood a chance against Fyodor. He was blessed with charms and appearance, he had a thick Russian accent that sent many into bliss. He had the strength and intelligence to lift the previous charms. It was only a matter of time before he'd wrapped the ginger, like thread, into a candlewick he'd slowly burn down until there wasn't anything left.

When Chuuya first began to become confused with his thoughts and the feeling pooling in his chest, he went to Higuchi. "It's weird I have alarms ringing off but whenever I think that I should stop calling him back, I can't stop myself from wanting it. He's completely different from Dazai, gentle, he doesn't call me names, I really don't know what I should do at this point."

Higuchi groaned, sitting up as she shook her head. "Wait, you mean that super stuck-up rich guy? The top of the class in the year above us guy? Yeah, no that's a definite no Chu. he's suspicious, isn't he Dazai's friend?"

Chuuya rolled his eyes, he was a little angered he hadn't gotten the response he wanted to hear. "I wouldn't call them friends. I don't think Fyodor likes Dazai too much."

Higuchi thought for a moment before facepalming. "Chu, how stupid are you? Clearly, Fyodor doesn't care about you. If it's a fight between the two most intelligent men you'll ever meet, of course, you're the centerpiece being pulled back and forth!"

Chuuya stood up glaring. "Fyodor and I are friends. Also, to correct you, it was Dazai who suddenly started avoiding me as if I were a damned plague. So fuck him." Before Higuchi could say more, he stormed out.

His next option was to get answers from his last resort, Dazai. It was no surprise there to see Dazai stare blankly and groan before placing his head on the table he'd been studying at. "Chibi, no matter what I say, you won't give a shit. I'll tell you I've known Fyodor for a long time, but you'll say otherwise like I don't know how he can be. I'll tell you he loves playing games and you'll ignore that. If I tell you he's untrustworthy, then you'll refute that too. You're stubborn like that." It took so much not to turn into an angered mess.

When Chuuya stormed into his room, Dazai's eyes turned icy, a shadow consuming them. He'd prepared for this, but he hadn't thought the short ginger would fall into the trap. Wasn't he somewhat intelligent?

Over the next week, Dazai truly tried. He went on and on as much as he could about Fyodor, but Chuuya ignored him... it hurt knowing the outcome of this already. He sat alone a lot now, Chuuya hanging out with Fyodor, another sting to his chest. "It's not like I'm jealous, I just... I have his best interest in mind." Wasn't that the same as being jealous though? It wasn't, they were different things, right?

It takes two to create a whole | Soukoku Au |Where stories live. Discover now