Scars and Bruises

Confession. Again

ALEX.

After a couple of days she stood just outside a fence in front of the Shrieking Shack, she waited for Remus. She had arrived before their meeting time, so she just aimlessly watched in the far and remembered last day events.

Yesterday she met Lily, James and Peter, they had forgiven her on the spot. She did not expected for that to happen, but it was very nice. Lily was happy that she finally got her best friend back. James was relieved that Alex was alright considering everything that had happened. And Peter was also happy, but he acted a little weird, Alex didn't remembered him acting like that in school time.

Now it was Remus's turn. She needed to speak to him. After the conversation with Lily and James, Alex knew what they are most interested in, what they wanted to find out the most about the last summer. But she wanted to speak to Remus about completely something else.

"Alex," someone called her name, she turned around to see Remus walking casually towards her, he smiled. Looked like he was not mad at her.

"Remus," she greeted and hugged him.

"Is there some particular reason why you wanted to meet me here?" he asked looking at the Shrieking shack. "Because I have seen this place more times that I would like to admit," he chuckled lightly.

"Yes, there is. And it is related to our little fury problem," Alex tried to joke, but there was nothing funny about that. Remus frowned and thoughtfully looked at Alex.

"What's happened?" he asked with worry in his voice.

"After the last summer's accident, well let's call it like that, some things had changed, and you are the only one who could understand me," Alex looked at now peaceful and calm Shrieking Shack.

"Guessed so," Remus sighed. "Last time when I saw you after a full moon, you didn't have grey hairs and you had never looked so tired."

"Exactly..." Alex dragged out but did not continue. She knew that she could tell Remus everything, he would understand, he would not judge. But she couldn't find right words to begin.

"Alex, you know that you can trust me, right?" Remus said as if he had just read her mind.

Alex turned to Remus and leaned against the fence, after a moment of silence she began to talk, "After they finished torturing me and left me with my broken back to die, there was a full moon. I don't remember anything from that full moon, but assuming that I still was in that house afterwards I couldn't move even in my wolf form." Remus sighed sympathetically, but Alex continued.

"I couldn't move, my body was broken, I don't know how but I managed to summon my house elf which brought me to St. Mungo's and told Dumbledore what had happened," she needed all her strength to say those words because she didn't wanted to remember.

"And from hospital also I remember very little, but I know that Dumbledore fought for my well-being, because even in there some of the healers don't like werewolves," she shrugged her shoulders and tried to laugh but she was not successful. "I don't know how he managed that but I was saved. Difficult part was that once a month I turned into a wild animal, that's why I was at the hospital for so long," Remus took her hand in his and squeezed.

"A lot of the healers thought that I wouldn't make it, because my consciousness was clouded by the terror I lived through when I was tortured and it made my healing slower than necessary. To be honest I am surprised that I am alive and I can move," Alex looked away for a moment. Remus kept silent but Alex knew that he just let her talk in her own time.

"But that's not everything," she continued, "my first full moon after St. Mungo's was even more terrible than my first transformation ever. I thought that I would not survive that, pain was unbearable. And the worst part is that nothing has changed, every full moon I wonder if I will even wake up next morning, if my body will be broken again. And nobody can help me; healers from St. Mungo don't know what to do with me."