Scars and Bruises

Christmas Ball

ALEX.

Alex opened her eyes, it was dark in her bedroom, only light came from the reading light next to the armchair. Alex looked at the window; curtains weren't drawn close completely, so she saw that it was dark outside. It meant that it was already evening or even later than that. Another lost day after the full moon.

She closed her eyes and tried to understand how her body felt, it did not felt like she had broken something in her body. As usual back hurt a lot, but that was expected. She felt very tired and her body was stiff, but all was bearable. She had used to these pains after the full moons.

She opened her eyes; the thing that hurt the most was her thoughts. Her parents' funeral turned out even worse than she had predicted. The stares that she got was painful, and her brother's question – what she was doing there. It stung more than she expected.

Only thing that made her sane through the whole ceremony was Sirius and Noah, which did not step away from her not for a moment. But after the funeral she realized that she didn't wanted to see none of them, because that meant that she needed to think about decision she needed to make. Alex hated this situation.

Alex sighed silently, slightly turned her head and looked at Noah who sat in her armchair. He read some Ministry documents, he looked very tired, his forehead was frowned, his eyes traveled across the parchment soaking up the information.

Alex looked at Noah's profile. He was handsome; hair fell into his eyes while he studied the parchments. Her gaze slid over his face – his straight nose, his lips, his strong chin.

Noah's face was covered in stubble, he had not been shaving for a while, Alex thought that gave his look a little edge. She smiled; Noah drank a gulp of firewhiskey and put the glass back on the little table next to the armchair. He put Ministry's file on the ground where a couple more piled up, and opened the next one, which laid in his lap.

Noah waved his hand and from nowhere appeared parchment and a quill. He started to write something down; Alex saw that he just continued his previously started notes on something. She watched how his hand slid over the parchment. He looked somber, but it was expected, because attack on Diagon Alley had shocked all wizarding world and now Noah as auror had a lot more work to do.

After he had wrote down everything, Noah waved his hand once again and the parchment disappeared. He started to read a long parchment that he had took out of one of the files. Alex continued to silently look at him. Top of the parchment was already over his legs and continued on the floor, while he drinking whiskey speed read it.

Alex knew that Sirius and Noah had agreed to wait for her to choose. She did not liked it at all. Not the fact that Sirius made her an ultimatum, and not the fact that Sirius and Noah had talked. It was not like she wanted to see both of them at the same time, she just hated this situation, it made her very anxious.

She closed her eyes, she just wanted to be safe and loved, but now it seemed to be way too much to ask. Nothing was simple, and that made almost impossible for her to choose.

How it was possible to choose between two amazing men? Maybe situation with Sirius was more complicated, because they had suffered for almost year and a half. But now things with Noah was complicated too.

Alex loved Sirius... But what exactly did it meant? She perfectly knew that they could not return to that kind of relationship that they had back in Hogwarts, when they were ridiculously happy. There were too much of a heartbreak between them. Alex was not sure that anything between them could be as it was, not after everything that had happened.

Actually, she was not even sure that she could be in a relationship with Sirius, but something in him pulled her back to him in some weird way, she just fought that feeling. Sirius knew her, all of her; he was the only person who knew everything about her now. She felt deep inside that if there would be a situation that demanded it, then she would trust him with her life.