𝘛𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘪𝘴 𝘱𝘦𝘳𝘧𝘦𝘤𝘵𝘭𝘺 𝘸𝘳𝘰𝘯𝘨

30

Jayden

Fucking hell i miss her.

I miss her arms around me, I miss her giggle I heard every day, I miss her smile every time she saw me, I miss how she always rolled her eyes when Liam said something nasty, I miss her lips, I miss the nights I spent with her. I miss everything.

But am I mad at Liam? No I'm not, he was right about something. But I'm sorry I did it, who knows it wouldn't go the wrong way at all, who knows our relationship would just get better and better.

I should have waited and thought about it. I shouldn't have done it at all.

I just miss her a lot more then i realized, things keep happening and i always find myself wishing i could tell her about them.

And i try not to miss her, i try to let her go. But in the end she's always on my mind.

Could I ever fix this? Would she ever forgive me? I don't even know if I can forgive myself for what I've done. And now she's been in Paris for several days with that bastard.

Ugh focus Jayden.

I wipe the sweat from my forehead with a towel and take a sip of the water that is pushed into my hands by Damien, "You have to train better, you should be ready in a few days."

"I'm ready." I pull a shirt over my head.

He sighs. "No you're not, I understand it's very hard and you miss her but-"

"Can you shut the fuck up? I said I'm ready." I throw my bag over my shoulder, "See you tomorrow." I turn my back and walk to the exit.

"You're really retarded for listening to him, you know that?" He shouts.

"Oh I know" I whisper softly before walking out the door.

I put my bag in the car and walk on to a cafe down the road. I've been coming here almost daily since that night. Just drink my mind away a bit. I think vodka is just easier to swallow then the fact that she isn't coming back.

"Back again?" Asks the woman whose name I have forgotten. I hum and take a seat at the bar.

"The same as yesterday?" She asks while already taking a glass, "Yeah" I answer briefly as I scroll through my notifications hoping for a message from her.

But again, nothing.

I can't blame her, what I did was cruel. And oh believe me lord i fucking regret it.

I'm going to talk to her when she gets back, and I don't give a shit what Liam is going to think. But I hurt her and I'm going to fix that.

"Can I get some water?" The annoying, high-pitched female voice can be heard next to me.

As if this evening couldn't get any better.

Fucking Amber.

"Oh my gosh! Jayden didn't see you there." She pretends to be surprised but she's not, bet she's been seeing me since I even stepped into this cafe. I wouldn't even be surprised if she followed me.

"How are you doing?" She puts her hand on my shoulder. "I'd feel better if you took your dirty hand off my shoulder." I look at her hand until she moves it.

"I see, you still with that girl? Tella? Ella? No, I'm pretty sure it was Tella." She giggles in the most annoying way. She knows what her name is, you can just tell by her dirty look.

"Stella" I raise my glass towards the bartender so they would refill my glass. I haven't drunk enough for this yet.

"Whatever makes you sleep at night." And again that annoying giggle.