Locked in Paradise

Part 22

Trigger warning: This chapter contains heavy themes of Suicide, Thoughts of homicide. Please skip this chapter if any of these themes are triggering to you. If you need anybody to speak to, i'm here to listen. i love y'all.

March 20th CONT

Hector carried Jamal to the bed and sat down. He pulled his sobbing lover closer into his chest and soothed him until he heard light sniffing. He didn't know what happened to Jamal or who hurt him, but he knew he would be taking revenge on them, whoever they were. Hector and Jamal sat comfortably in each other embrace as the shorter man cried. After what felt hours, Jamal's sobs calmed down. He was still whimpering, almost like when you were a child and just got an ass beating from your parents, and you couldn't stop crying and shaking.

Hector caressed Jamals back softly over his jumpsuit. The taller man did not know what else to say or do especially; he stayed silent until he felt his lover was ready to communicate.

"Hector," Jamal mumbled. "I can't do this shit anymore," the dark skin whimpered. He felt defeated; he was never one to think of harming himself because of what he was going through. However, he couldn't handle it today. he couldn't take his mother coming to see him after abandoning him emotionally when he was at home and betraying him when she testified against him. He can't escape his past even in prison.

Hector was dumbfounded. "What do you mean? what?" Hector asked; he hopped it's not what he thinks Jamal is hinting at; it cant be.

"I do not want to be here anymore, Hector, and I can't do it," Jamal cried. He hid his face in Hector's neck; he couldn't look into his boyfriend's eyes; he knew his selfish decision, which made it even harder to make.

Hector was not trained for things like this; he was not ready to hear the man he loved to admit that he no longer wanted to be alive. Hectors' hold tightened against the more petite man on his lap. He couldn't say anything back; how does one go about even saying something back?

"Baby," Hector whispered, kissing the side of Jamal's head. The more petite man whispered slowly escalated into sobs again. The only thing running through Jamal's head was strangling his sop called mother and then taking his own life.

How could that woman have the audacity to come and sit in front of him, after everything. To Jamal, it was enough to send his ass out of the house at a young age, forcing him to grow up earlier than he had to. Then leaving her burden of her husband abusing her unto him, let's not forget sending his ass to prison.

Jamal hasn't considered the proposal his 'mother' brought to the table, he did not care, and he knew he wouldn't take it. Jamal's wild thoughts were interrupted as Hector pushed him away from the embrace. Hector forced Jamal to look him in his face, "Baby, please calm down. Tell me what's wrong; I hate seeing you like this". Hector pleaded, wiping Jamal's tears.

"M-my mother," Jamal choked out. He inhaled sharply, finally calming down again. Hector's brow raised after hearing Jamal mention his mother. Hector has been told multiple stories about Jamal's mother; he knew that woman wasn't what a mother was supposed to be. He also knew that Jamal did not have any contact.

"Your mother? what?" Hector asked, caressing Jamal's right cheek.

"She came to see me," Jamal cried. Hector gasped in shock. He cursed himself lowly for doing that. He shouldn't have; he didn't want to cause Jamal to escalate again. His grip around Jamal's waist tightened instead to give him strength while he recounts what happened.

"She came to me and said she's sorry," Jamal inhales. "S-she, She-sai" Jamal took a breath, disgusted to say that his mother was working on taking him out of the only place he's felt safe in since he was ten years old.

"She umm wants to get me out of here. She said she regrets testifying against me and that she found a video recording of me protecting myself," Jamal finished. He spoke so fast he was winded after finishing; Hector heard every word, though.

Hector's facial expressions dropped. He wanted Jamal out before, but now he's in love with the shorter. He was about to lose the love of his life; call him selfish but letting go would be hard. He also wanted Jamal to get out of here, out of this city. to find a place where he could be himself. Hector preferred Jamal would live this life with him, but he knew as long as Jamal was happy, he would be as well.

"O-oh," Hector mumbled. "That's good, right?" Hector was asking, faking a smile.

"No" Jamal yelled, startling Hector. "It's not good. Hector that woman--she- she's evil. She put me in here," Jamal whispered. Hector nodded, understanding Jamal's perspective.

"She can also get you out of here, baby," Hector whispered, kissing Jamal's forehead.

"Not without you, I can," Jamal cried.

"When you mentioned you didn't want to be here anymore, I heard the pain in you. This is not a place to be when you feel like this baby. I hate to be selfish, but I want you here, alive. Getting out of here might be best."

"Hector, do you hear yourself." Jamal pushed Hector away. "I would lose my mind being outside with that woman in close quarters and especially without you. I-I know what I said; it's not a lie. This was me when I was outside, Me when I was outside, seeing that woman brought back so many memories, feelings, thoughts. Dark thoughts." Jamal inhaled.

"That woman and her husband made me hate myself, hate who I am, hate being alive. You made me love myself; you made me feel special. I can't leave you. I don't want to," Jamal said, feeling hot tears down his face.

Hector couldn't help the tears threatening to crawl out of his eyes.

"That woman betrayed me; I hate her with every fiber in me and refuse to take anything from her. I don't want to." Jamal finished. Hector hugged the dark skin man.

"I hear you, baby. I'm sorry I even suggested it. I love you" Hector kissed Jamal, finally allowing his tears to escape. Hector pulled away, pondering how to ask this question.

"Are you still feeling suicidal?" Hector whispered, knowing it was a sensitive topic.

"I can't lie to you; it took me a long time to fight those thoughts. It's going to take me a while now that it resurfaced," Jamal confessed. Hector nodded his head, kissing Jamal again. Once again not know how to respond.

The couple embraced each other, not knowing that Jamal's release from iron point prison would not be by choice.

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A/N: As always, please leave your thoughts here.