Chapter 44

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ADELAIDE'S POV:

Addiction is something that everyone has, it could be sweets or books, or it might be staying up late at night because people like the peace that's there for once.

For me though, it's carving red into my arms, burning my lungs, and becoming friends with vodka and whiskey. So you see not all addictions are nice and peaceful. Others are dark and scary.

But with both, before you know it you're in too deep and you can't even control it, it's a struggle to stop it.

Although I may be "getting better" as they say, I just can't imagine it. The coldness, the breaks. I can't imagine me being me without it all.

Will I still be Adelaide?

"Hello." I feel a kiss to the top of my head and I turn around slightly to see Axel with Adele in his arms.

"Hey Red and little red." I blow the smoke out of the window quickly and chuck away the small paper in between my fingers. "One second." I jump off of the window sill and wash my hands and brush my teeth.

Walking back into the room and outstretch my arms and take the baby into them holding the little girl close. She looks up at me with her big brown eyes that look like they have little hints of blue and red in them.

"She's getting big." I smile at Axel and he smiles back.

"So how are you doing? How have you been?" Axel sits on a chair and I follow his lead sitting across him in front of the fire.

"I've been okay." I look away from him and hold the little things hand.

"Are you sure?" He pushes.

"Mhm."

There's an awkward silence and he clears his throat. "Your scars seem to be looking okay." He points to his face signalling my scars.

I look at him and smile proudly. "I look badass."

He laughs and tilts his head back.

"You jealous?" I ask cockily.

"Yes very." He exaggerates.

"You should be." I reply smugly.

There's another silence and the thing starts to make a babbling noise. "Oh really." I reply to it starting a conversation. The thing makes a high pitched noise and talks more. "That's crazy." I gasp.

The two of us carry on talking to each other and I look up at Axel to see him with watery eyes and a small smile on his face watching us. Adele makes a squeal and I look back at her with a smile. "Have you got anything else to tell me?" She makes a little murmur and then cuddles into me more.

"Where's Rosalyn?" I question stroking the things forehead to the tip of her nose.

"Shopping with her mum." His voice cracks and I look up at him.

I give him a sad smile. "It's okay, you know." I look back at the baby. "I would've been a bad mom anyways. I might get along with this one right here, but it's not my child. It would've had complications, I can't even feed myself so how would I be able to feed it?"

"Mhm." He nods his head and wipes his teary eyes away. "You've definitely been okay though right?"

"I'm getting there." I chuckle. "Baby steps."

He smiles and whispers in agreement, "Baby steps."

****

"Hey... tiny thing." I smile with uncertainty as Ricardo stands up wobbly and walks over to me slowly.

I crouch down and outstretch my arms. He falls into them and I pick him up, placing him on my hip. "Loki." He laughs and points down to my feet where Loki and Smudge are purring.

"Want to get them their food?" I ask him and he nods his head whilst clapping his hands. I walk us over to the kitchen and sit him on the counter top.

I pick up the bowls and place them next to Ricardo. I walk over to the fridge and pull out a water bottle, "Pour it into these two." I help him pour the right amount into their bowls and grab some cat food.

"This goes into these two." And once again I help him pour the right amount into it. "Stay there." I pick up the bowls and place them on the floor so the cats can eat.

"Do you want any fruit?"

"Yes."

I go to the fridge once more and grab some strawberries and some ice cream from the freezer. I grab two spoons and jump up onto the counter with Ricardo. I criss cross my legs and face him as he sits facing me as well, "Spoon." I pass him one and open the lids to everything.

We start eating and he tries to copy me scooping the ice cream and putting it on the strawberry but he fails and just eats it separately.

We sit like this, eating, for maybe five minutes until Carlo comes walking into the kitchen smiling at the two of us. "Hey baby." He kisses my nose. "Hello munchkin." He ruffles Ricardo's hair.

Ricardo slaps his hand away laughing and goes back to eating. As I'm about to put a spoon full of ice cream in my mouth Carlo encloses his mouth around it and takes my ice cream.

"That's not yours." Ricardo throws a strop.

"Exactly." I turn my head away from Carlo and take another spoonful.

"Sharing is caring." Is all he has to say.

"Except when it comes to food, asshat." I roll my eyes. His arms cradle around my waist and he sits on the bar stool surrounding the kitchen island Ricardo and I are sat on. He lays his chin on my knee and looks up at me.

"I'm sorry." He pouts and holds me closer.

Alessia walks into the kitchen and stands next to us taking a strawberry. "Are you finished?" She motions towards Ricardo. He looks up at her with a shocked expression and a strawberry half in his mouth and half out. "It's time for a bath and bedtime."

He bites his strawberry and the other half falls out as he goes into Alessia's arms. "Say goodnight."

"Night."

"Night Nico." (Knee-co) I kiss his forehead and Carlo ruffles his hair and they leave the kitchen.

"So. How was your day?" I question and scoop ice cream whilst one hand goes to play with Carlo's hair.

"Lonely." He opens his mouth and I put the ice cream in there. Once he has a mouthful he rests his head on my knee and holds me closer. "And tiring. How was yours?"

"Well. I cleaned, sat with Axel and Adele, I read a little, worked on the cars, and then spent some time with Nico. So it was okay."

He hums and then yawns looking up at me. "You tired baby?" I ask and he nods his head, closing his eyes slowly. "Come on then."

I jump off of the counter and put everything away before holding Carlo's hand and walking up the stairs to the bedroom to sleep.

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