Curtwen Fluffshots

winter; aka the coldest goodbye

TW: Physical abuse

Now you may be thinking, wtf author??? I clicked on this book for happy things??? Why is there a warning for physical abuse??

Because, dear reader, sometimes before we can experience true happiness, we must experience true pain.

Anyway yeah dont read if physical abuse triggers you 👍

••••

It rained.

Curt could barely be bothered to notice.

For all he knew, there could have been an apocalypse happening. He didn't care.

All he could care about were the words on his phone screen:

I dont love you anymore. I'm breaking off the engagement.

And just like that, everything, every memory, every kiss, every bit and piece of love in his heart, were wounds.

At first he didn't believe it. They were just words- words didn't have any meaning, really, right? Alas, he pierced himself on that double edged sword. Every "I love you" had meant something, so these words had to mean something. This- this was real. There was no use denying it.

He wanted to cry.

But he couldn't.

He was feeling everything and he was feeling nothing all at the same time. It was all a mumbled mess and he lost himself in it, falling into the void of his own mind without any knowledge of how to escape. He felt empty. He felt overwhelmed.

He didn't feel sadness so much as he felt the loss of Owen's love.

And he wanted it back. God, he wanted it so bad.

But he had to respect Owen's wishes. If Owen really, truly, didnt feel that way anymore, he wasn't going to push it because that would just hurt them both. And Curt didnt think he could take anymore hurt.

So he decided to take a shower. To gather all of Owen's things that were strewn about, that didnt matter at first because they were always at each other's places anywyay. To put them in a box. To take them to Owen's place. To look him in the eyes and say goodbye.

It would be hard, but he had to do it.

The shower was cold. It was nice. Grounding. Every drop of icy cold water kept him from receding into his own mind. His body was numb by the time he was done, but it was worth it. Step 1 accomplished.

So many things. He realized so many things weren't his, but Owen's. He realized he might need several boxes.

He paused as he reached a squeaky toy meant for Susan. He wouldn't see Susan ever again, would he? A fresh wave of sadness rolled over him as he remembered that the dog he had come to think of as his own wasn't his at all.

He wiped his tears away quickly. Now wasnt the time to cry, now was the time to be productive. To get things done. So he could look Owen in the eyes and say goodbye.

Soon everything was packed away.

Now it was time for Step 3.

Owen's place.

He didnt dare put his music on.

Too much of it would remind him of Owen.

Every love song was tainted. Owen's name was printed in between the lyrics permanently.

Every sad song was too real right now. He didn't want to show up to Owen's house looking like a mess.

Every other song he had danced in the living room to with Owen. Every other song he had screamed out the car window with Owen. Every other song he had shared with Owen. He had shared everything with Owen, was prepared to share his life with Owen, but things dont always turn out the way they're supposed to.