Ch 20. Comfort

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"Oh dear, you must be freezing. Come inside"

His mother exclaimed in terror from the cold breeze pushing her skin when she opened the door to the boy. Who immediately got pulled inside as fast as the warmness traced his cold body

And maybe, maybe if he didn't look down and he didn't deepen his eyes locked to the shoes that even his own hands wouldn't dare to move in his hands.

The end of them polished into the pathway of explaining - telling the endless words of his father's deepening heart. Polished, tremendously virtuous but with the most plagued spots he had missed to polish.

And his heart fallters, his skin is cold again and he looks up. At his mother, her sweet face where his beauty was collided from as a small breath left his lips. And she smiles, oh such a warm smile. Tracing her lips that smiled at him when he was just 5 years, and came home to her sweet hugs of home

And she smiled again.

"Your father is home today, he missed you"

Taehyung looks downright mortified at this point. Shoulders hunched over as if he's shrinking in on himself, he clenches his paws tightly. And he smiles, and he just chews harshly at his bottom lip and stares at the open distance in the hall

And he tries to understand

"Come on now honey, let's celebrate"

Taehyungs father was sweet, the definition of a gentlemen. He's solid way of talking, walking and his ways of teaching in every aspect of life.

Around his father, he feels like a child. always bracing himself for an impact that never comes. A part of him thinks that his father hold himself up so high that he feels himself like an small trace in the way that could break his father if he just moves a step wrong. Because he's father is perfect, in every way.

And that's what he had learned, from a  young age. And Taehyung finds himself for the first time not knowing how to handle good people.

"You've gotten thinner son, come on and eat"

Comfort in a voice is something Taehyung seeks, a place where he could feel like he didn't lose his own air in his voice.

He finds comfort in voices, because he can't use his own.

"How have you been, how's school?"

But his father's voice feels so distant.

Taehyung only gazes up a bit at his father, the tracing wrinkles on his skin had deepened. And his hair seemed to slowly fade it's color.

And he stares, stares for to long. Because he trace back to thinking. Before he finally let out his notebook.

But he knows that's something he shouldn't have done

"You're not carrying around that damned notebook again are you? didn't I tell you I don't want to ever see it again!"

Taehyung almost flinches. Holding his notebook tight between his fingers because he doesn't want his father to touch it. To throw it. Not this one, not the one he got from Jungkook

And he feels his father's fingers try and take it away from his hand, but he only pushes them further away. Tightening hold on his body as on his notebook

And it kept tight, even when he felt the struck of pain hit the side of his cheek, his gaze tuning into something he didn't know as Taehyung could still feel his father's hand on his cheek, pain striking again

"You're talking when I speak to you!"

And now Taehyung start to understand. What he couldn't understand then. He finally gets it, why he couldn't find himself to get it back them

Because his father was perfect, his mother was perfect. That's why, he couldn't get why, why they hurt him

Finally understood why the comfort he finds in their voice had slowly faded, and why it hurt, why his body hurted that day so much.

Because mixing something perfect with something that trembles the world on their feet, was something no one would believe. No one, even himself wouldn't understand why his cheek was stinging at the cut now, and why his body was caught up in bruises that day

And still he tries to hold on, to the warmness of his mother's hug, his father's voice and the end of their caring words to him. He really tried, he tried so much to really hold on. He didn't want it to disappear

Because he was left alone one year ago, and the only one that were left with him was his family

So even with the pain, and his heart hurting his body. He didn't want them to leave

"Give me that damned notebook!"

He could feel the blood dripping from the cut on his cheek

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