If There Was Love For Me

18 - Sister Gloria

Maria didn't cry the next morning when she left the palace. She simply carried the small bag of things she had been allowed to bring with her into the post carriage and didn't look back. She didn't cry either, during the drive or during the night spent in a cheap in or the next morning when she arrived at the nunnery.

A older looking nun was waiting for her at the gate and she introduced herself as sister Gloria. Maria was politely ordered to follow her into her office, where the deatails of her joining the convent should be discussed.

"So, Maria," said sister Gotia as they had both sat down. "That was queit an unusual letter I have recived of you, I must say. It is not every day somebody is so... open about their past."

"It is not like I had a choice." Maria was surprised about how blunt her statement sounded. It was obvious that sister Gloria thought the same and Maria needed to appologize emediatly, if she didn't want to lead with a bad Impression.

She tried. She really tried to find politenes and friendlynes in the fog of her grieving mind, but there was only the love for Gwen, and the hurt from not being able to love her.

"I am not sorry for what I did," Maria said finally. "If it is against gods will, so be it, I can't change his opinion and I won't attempt to. But what I did wasn't wrong. Wrong doesn't feel so right. So if you want to send me back to the king so he can kill me I don't really care. Because I love her, I really do. And she loves me. And there is nothing sinfull in that, no matter what you might think."

Sister Gloria waited a few moments before she spoke.

"Do you like flowers?"

Now it was Marias turn to be surprised. "Who doesn't?"

Sister Gloria shook her head, cleared her throat and started again. "You wrote in your letter that you intended to join us for a long time. Perhaps you have heard some of the rumors about us?"

"I..."

"You don't need to answer that queation my dear. I assume you did, and I assume that is why you are here. And that is why I tell you that neither I or god belive what you did is wrong. Love, real true love, is such a rare thing that it should always be cherished, even if between two women. So I won't ask you to repent for what you did or to convince me you have changed. All I ask from you right now is to look at this letter and tell me if it might me for you."

Maria didn't even need to see the letter to knew what it was. It smelled of her, a spray of her parfume was left on it. It was the same paper she had written on while Maria was kept in the dungeon and the same messy handwriting she had adopted after years of having her Maids in Waiting write all offical letters for her. With this handwriting she had written the words to my dear Violette on the letter.

Now Maria cried. She cried like she had when she was first arrested, when she first belived to have lost everything.

"So it is for you, just like I thought," said sister Gloria and handed her the letter. "Take all the time you need dear, we are in no rush."