Sacrifices

Getting Help

                                              (Where I got my inspiration for the forest they live in but I'll be changing detail.)

             (Carla POV)

                                    Is there something with me and awkward car rides, not even 5 minutes after getting into the car it was like the realization that this was happening now, and after the manor disappeared behind the trees it made it even more clear? Almost knowingly walking into the void but not being prepared for the backlash of your mistakes, Sebastian probably hasn't seen a therapist of any kind in years so this was good for all of us. After a bit of silence, the question finally came up from Maud surprisingly."So who are we going to see, you said we know them but we know like half of the psychologists that live in this city if not the country because of your and Sebastian's connections." She said wonder and curiosity in her voice, a smile came to my face almost one of mischief. It was at that moment it click to almost everyone in the car but Sebastian and Clotilda who had to take a moment to think before understanding leaving Sebastian questioning the unspoken answer."We are going to see a good friend of mine Amihan Abels, she is actually my emergency number so I thought why not use it in this mess."I said leaning more to the car door as I talked making the conversation on the situation at hand, after almost 30 mins of driving we finally could see part of the city coming down the tree lines as we headed for the bottom of the national forest tree lines that had a large sign said in bold words Angels National Forest. We could see cars going up the small two-way road that went off to the side of land we didn't own probably to go camping or hiking it is a nice day and I do usually enjoy a nice hick or jog at 6-7 am on really I've been doing it for years that its an unspoken rule for myself.

                             After parking in the almost full parking lot of the psychotherapist we sat there for what felt like hours but it was realistically 5min at the most, almost knowing what to expect but not at the same time. Walking through the air-conditioned hallways didn't seem to calm anyone's nerves, 2 people seemed to be waiting to see one of the few therapists ones rubbing the other hand in a circular motion to comfort the other as they seemed to be the one here to be here for the reservation. We saw Amihan coming out of her room that was placed closes to the waiting room escorting a couple out to the exit, a smile on her face that got bigger as her eyes landed on us, the short pale man and a taller woman with a light caramel completion walk slowly past us out the door giving Ms.Abels a soft grateful smile as they said their thanks and goodbyes to here before making it out the office door. After getting closer it was clear she was holding herself back from throwing her arms into a hug but was trying to be professional with her colleges watching by the counter talking amongst themselves but just glancing once in a while at Sebastian as they eyed him. I got used to the feeling of being stared at by fans growing up forced to help my dad at his modeling company at first it was small things like helping promote kids' clothe company.                                                                                                                                                                Then it got bigger and I started to get into my looks at a young age but then I started to show myself less and less, than an around high school it was almost required of me to help since I got all the looks in the family Maud is beautiful and she definitely has her fair share of fans but to a limited of course. She never showed interest but still would put on a suit or dress if I needed an extra hand, she really is so caring isn't she maybe that's why seeing her talk so almost hateful is surprising. I'm so lucky to have them here and Sebastian to some degree him admitting and excepting what he did has made things easier for me, I've been told that most of the parts of my limbic system might still be going through the stages of grief because of the trauma I experienced and Madelyn sudden death. I've already gone through half of the stages not knowing I was really going through the stages of grief until I went back to counseling when I came back to California to go to college away from Sebastian. Amihan told me that from the way I decided the way I had been feeling over the years from Madelyn dying and coming back home I slowly went through the stages without acknowledging it. I had already gone through Depression, Isolation, Anger, and was still slowly going through Denial. I didn't want to admit that the relationship I wanted with Sebastian didn't exist it was just something always unachievable, I couldn't change that but I wanted to I wanted something at least was it all for nothing.

                               After getting seated on the soft peachy colored sectional sofa the pillows were a nice shade of light blue maybe pastel or baby blue, the room was decorated in many things paintings, family photos, a small ala vera plant here and there in the corners of the room. A comforting letter bord made for her patients to read to almost get a feeling of solace from, some vague, while others hit home which I think I didn't have a right to connect with so many of them but it felt nice almost like I felt understood even if it's just abord with inspirational letters."So you can you tell me why you came to me for help today."Amihan said professionally with a calm smile waiting for us to open up and enlighten her on why I called on such short notice so close to one of my visits. I sat up and smiled back."We thought therapy would help us with a few problems we're working on at the moment, I thought to come to you first. Your blunt and aren't biased when it comes to these things you hear all sides and pick the best for everyone in the end even if some don't deserve it."I said softly and truthfully, she nodded in understanding a playful smile on her lips as she straightened up in her seat clip board in hand."So where would you like to start."