PRETTY LOVER BOY - ROGER TAYLOR

XXXIV.

♛ ♛ ♛

The fucking bastard.

He'd tried to kiss Dominique. I saw it with my own damn eyes. She stopped him, god bless her, but that asshole went in for it, not a damn moments hesitation.

How does one confront that?

'Hey, I saw you try and kiss Dom earlier you bloody fucking cheater.'

No, those are strong words, they're fighting words. Of course, they're the right words, but still.

I suppose I could be immature about it and go fuck Deaky or something, but that's a bit too teenage like isn't it? I'd like to make him burn, bad, but that may be a little too far.

The cool air pricks at my bare skin, my hands, though moving swiftly across the goosebumps, fail to warm me any. The moon shines brightly in the sky, nearly full with the stars dancing around it.
What a devastatingly gorgeous night for heartbreak. What a shame, that I'll only remember this beautiful night as a painful one.

I can feel the tension as I draw nearer to Roger's trailer, as if somehow, he knows I'm coming. It sits in the air nice and suffocating, clawing down my throat and turning my stomach.

When will it hit? When will it hit?

That's what I keep asking myself.

When will all of this settle down on me? When will it finally hit me that this is all really happening.

It wasn't supposed to happen to us of course. We were supposed to be forever. The pretty boy and the house special, souls entwined since they'd met that now seemingly not so fateful night.

I'm outside his trailer now. The lights are on but I can tell it's only him inside.

I stand frozen for a moment, trying to figure out if it's all worth it. If maybe, I should just let it go, go back to my trailer, go to sleep. Or maybe I should walk into his trailer, let him making me forget it all happened for a night, like so many other nights before. Maybe, just maybe, that's how it should all play out.

When I open the trailer door, Roger's laying on the couch, arm draped over his eyes. He lifts it when he hears me come in, grinning like a school boy before sitting up.

"Hey, Cleme-" I put my hand up, shushing him.

"No, I have things to say to you." He furrows his brows, chuckling almost defensively.

"Alright," he says, seemingly unsure.

I'm not sure whether he actually doesn't know why I'm here or he's just playing me, but then again, neither option is really any better than the other.

"I know what you tried to do. I don't want you to try and deny it or excuse it, I saw what I saw, there's no changing that," I pace across the room, crossing my arms over my chest. "I guess what it is now is what's next. Well, we know what's next but we really don't want to admit it do we? I mean, we've been on for so lon-"

"Are you breaking up with me?" For the first time in a long time, I look over at Roger. I mean, I really look at him. His clear blue eyes, his long blond hair, the curvature of his face, the contour of his chest, everything. He's gorgeous. He's right out of a painting of some Greek god. It's a shame really, that it's turned out like this.

"I think so." He looks back at me, and I wonder if he too is really looking at me as I did him. We hold this for a moment, no one really sure what to say.

"You can't," Roger begins, but he stops himself, as if he really isn't sure what he wants to say.

"We'll probably still see each other," I start towards the door, "I still want to see the boys of course, and I plan half of the concert, I mean, at this point I might as well do the whole thing myself-"

"You're serious?" I stop once more, glancing over at him.

"Yes, Roger," I let my arms fall limply to my sides, "you obviously have a thing for Dominique."

"Oh, this is what this is about." He almost seems dismissive of the whole thing.

"Yeah," I reply, "of course it is."

"We never actually did anything, did we," he says, tilting his head.

"If she hadn't of stopped you from kissing her, you would've," I respond, suddenly feeling like I should be on the defense.

"But I didn't did I?"

"Goodbye, Roger." I shake my head.

"Wait, stay," he pleads, eyes wide, who demeanor changing in an instant, "don't go, not know."

"Why? So we can go another around. Fall in love for another week and then come back full circle? Over and over and over like a merry go round? I have to get off, Roger. I can't keep doing this."

"So, what? You're not in love with me anymore?" He asks, almost accusing. I laugh, but there's not an inch of humor behind it.

"That's the thing Roger, I'll always be in love with you."

"Fuck!" I don't even flinch when Roger grabs a glass from the coffee table and spikes it against the wall. The thing shatters, pieces flying everywhere, clattering against the ground before it's silent again. Roger sits on the couch now, head in his hands.

I sigh, a deep sigh, before padding over to him. I stay behind the couch, putting a hand on his shoulder, rubbing it slowly.

"Goodbye, Rog," I pull him back so he's sitting up. His back hits the couch cushion, but he doesn't look at me. I kiss his cheek softly before parting, turning my back to him and walking to the door.

"What am I supposed to do?" I look over my shoulder, just for a moment.

"I'm sure you have someone else waiting for you," I reply, hand on the doorknob now. There's a chuckle from him.

"It's the sad eyed goodbye. Yesterday's moments, I remember."

"It's the fantastic Drowse."

♛ ♛ ♛

:):