PRETTY LOVER BOY - ROGER TAYLOR

XL.

♛ ♛ ♛

I sit on top of the piano, legs crossed under me, watching the boys rehearse. We're a week to Live Aid and though everything does sound fantastic, Freddie's voice just hasn't really been doing well.

"Let's call it," Deaky says after a particular bad bought of singing.

"Sorry," Freddie says, his fingers pressed against his neck, "I sound like shit. You all are lovely, you sound good. Been a while... my throat feels like a vultures crotch."

We all chuckle at his comment and I slide off the piano, stretching my arms over my head.

"We've still got a week," Roger says.

"We'll get there," Deaky assures him.

"We're in a good place, Fred," Brian adds on, "you just need a bit of rest, that's all."

"Yeah," Freddie responds, but he sounds almost unsure of himself. I shoot a glance over to Jim quickly before I'm drawn into the other three's conversation.

"Want to get a drink, Rog?" Deaky questions as they clean up their mess.

"Yeah, there's a nice little pub down the road actually," Roger replies.

"Can Clems and I come?" Brian asks.

"Oh no, it's exclusive," Roger waves us off.

"Of course not," Deaky adds on as he grabs his jacket.

"You guys are awful," I laugh.

"Before you leave," Freddie interrupts, "can I have a second?"

"Sure, Fred, whats up?" I ask, tilting my head.

"I've got it," he says.

It's hits me immediately. The others are confused, voicing it, but I know. I've been waiting for him to say it. I figured a while ago that it must have been the case. He's just confirmed it. It's left his lips and now it's real. Now it's reality.

"AIDS," he says. Now it really drops because I'm not the only one who knows. "I wanted you to hear it from me.

"Fred, I'm so sorry," Brian begins, but Freddie stops him.

"Brian, stop, don't," he says, "right now it's between us, just between us. So please, if any of you fuss about it, or frown about it, or worst of all if you bore me with your sympathy, that's just seconds wasted. Seconds that could be used making music, which is all I want to do with the time I have left.

"I don't have time to be their victim, their AIDS poster boy, their cautionary tale. No, I decide who I am. I'm going to be what I was born to be. A performer. Who gives the people what they want. A touch of the heavens. Freddie fucking Mercury."

I look around at the boys. Deaky's lost a few of his tears to his cheeks but I have as well.

"You're a legend, Fred," Roger says.

"You're bloody right I am," he grins, "we're all legends. But you're right I am a legend." We all can't help but chuckle at him, even in the moment.