520 [Yanfei & Hu tao]

Chap 5: Are We Still Friends?

Hu Tao opened the door to her dorm and closed it behind her before throwing herself to bed. She did not know if she should feel sad or happy right now. At least we are still friends.. she thought to herself. She turned around so her face would be facing the ceiling. She stared at the ceiling without saying anything.

"At least i came clean with her i guess" Hu Tao said to herself before turning around again so her face is facing the bed. She then fell asleep.

Yanfei walked down the stairs, still thinking back and trying to recall on what just happened. Hu Tao loves me? Romantically? Yanfei thought to herself. How was she going to face Hu Tao like this after rejecting her. She never thought of Hu Tao anymore than just a friend. A friend that she trust a lot, a friend that made her feel special.

When she reached to her dorm, all she could do was throw herself to bed and sleep. She did not want to stress herself over this at all.

"Right.. i don't have time for all these love things. I need to study, that's why i'm here for. Not to fall in love with a friend" Yanfei told herself as she clench her fist as in a 'i got this!'. She went to wash her face up before going to sleep.

**

It has been a few days since 'Hu Tao confession' happened. Yanfei noticed weird things happening. First, Hu Tao always tried to avoid Yanfei when possible. If they ever met each other outside class, Hu Tao always gave such 'lames excuses' that she was not free to talk.

Yanfei had enough of that. What do you mean by we are still friend, dumbass, Yanfei thought to herself. She promised herself today after they finish class, she will run up to Hu Tao and ask her what was going on. In the end, she failed because Hu Tao left mid lesson. Sigh.

Yanfei walked to the dormitory building. It was rather quiet since everyone else was still busy in school but their lesson ended rather early. She walked passed the building lobby to see Hu Tao sitting alone drinking a can of soda.

"Hu Tao!" Yanfei called from afar. Hu Tao did not hear her at all. Hu Tao was lost in her own thoughts. It was really unusual of Hu Tao and Yanfei noticed that. Hu Tao only noticed Yanfei was there once Yanfei sat beside her.

"Oh hey Yanfei" Hu Tao said nervously. She felt awkward to be around her after what happened that day.

"Hu Tao"

"Yes?"

"..."

"What is it Yanfei?"

"Why do you act as if you did not know what you did" Yanfei said as she sulked and pouted. How adorable, Hu Tao thought to herself. She smiled to herself.

"What did i do?" Hu Tao asked.

"Why have you been ignoring me?!" Yanfei said as she move closer to Hu Tao.

"Oh, uhm sorry"

"Is that all you have to say? I was sad okay!" It did hurt Yanfei a lot. Her favourite person suddenly ignoring her, it hurts. What happened to the 'we can still be friends'?

"I thought you would be weirded out because someone the same gender as you likes you, you know what i mean?" Hu Tao said nervously as she was fiddling with her fingers.

"Who said i was" Yanfei spoke sternly.

"Oh no one did is just that i probably think it felt weird for yo-"

"No. It was not weird. Stop thinking that way Hu Tao. Don't distant yourself because of that" Yanfei said sternly. She wanted to make it clear that there was nothing to be weirded about. Friend falling in love with you, won't happened often but Yanfei can't stop the long friendship and bond they created over this. Is not worth it for both of them. None of them would want to experience that.

"Might take awhile for you to get back to normal but, is fine take your time" Yanfei said as she had a big smile on her face. Just from that smile, Hu Tao was convinced that Yanfei did want to restore the friendship. Hu Tao nodded and returned the smile to Yanfei.

**

Few weeks after that talk, tension slowly faded from them. They were getting closer like last time and Hu Tao slowly became comfortable with Yanfei. The first week was rather awkward. Hu Tao rarely or almost never approached Yanfei. It was always Yanfei that approached Hu Tao. Yanfei knew it was weird of Hu Tao but slowly it changed.

During those times, Hu Tao was trying to lose feelings for Yanfei. She felt like it was not worth it anyway. They were just friends, nothing else. Those thoughts broke her heart always. She cried alone at night thinking why and how did this platonic feelings turned into romantic feelings and why did it hurt so bad. They were more than friends definitely but not lovers. Nothing hurts more than trying to give up on someone you love so much romantically. She always thought that what if one day Yanfei dates someone that is not her. So many thought, here and there. It was stressing her out so much.

At least we are still friends... right?

Get over it already Hu Tao, is not that hard, she always reminded herself this.

She felt stupid and pathetic. A person that was not familiar with the feeling of love. Love was so foreign to her. She did not know it will hurt that bad.

sigh.

***

A/N: ahahahah... totally never wrote my experience here 😍. uhm. yea i fell in love with my friend, never confessed tho since idw to ruin our friendship 🔥🔥‼️okay bye LMAO