This is a lovely one-shot book! Haikyuu is one of my favorite fandoms, and I wasn't disappointed by the cuteness of this book. It made my inner fangirl squeal with delight! The characters were very OOC in this, but I loved it anyway. Your title is nice, but try to make it more creative. It's the same with the blurb. Both of them tell what the book is about, but why should people read your one-shots and not somebody else's? What makes your book different from others? While your cover is beautiful, it wasn't complete. Where is the text on it?
Now, it's hard to judge a one-shot book on plot and pace, but I had to deduct some just because it was one-shots. There is little plot and if there is, it's very fast-paced. However, that's the nature of one-shots. In the future, I recommend entering your book in a one-shot category (if applicable) rather than the fanfiction one. For dialogue, please use correct punctuation (quotation marks) and grammar. Speaking of grammar, you had a ton of grammar mistakes, so I recommend going back and editing the book. All in all, there is room for improvement, but don't let that get you down. You are a writer, so write through thick and thin!
Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
This was definitely one of the most original and hilarious Harry Potter fanfics I've read! Well done! However, I'm afraid to say that your title isn't very original. Please try to be more creative with it. Your cover can use some work too, especially with the font and color. Within your blurb and story, I noticed many spelling, grammar, capitalization, and punctuation mistakes. I suggest that you go back and reread and edit your story. Read it out loud. If it sounds off, then it probably is and you should fix it. Use more show than tell.
Also, don't put things in parentheses. I suggest taking your parentheses and making them into complete sentences. Your plot was so-so. There was a plot, but it had many gaps and was all over the place. The pace of the story was a little fast too. All in all, there is room for improvement, but don't let that get you down. Many people can write, but it takes true courage to publish that writing for the rest of the world to see, so kudos to you for doing that!
