I think the fact Patricia is flawed can help make her relatable. The world is cruel to her and that is something a lot of people have gone through. One thing that did bother me was the fact she said she wanted to watch her mother burn. I understand her powers got out of control, and she regretted it and was sad after. It made me less sympathetic to her, and everything that happened afterward. Almost like she deserved what she got, and I'm surprised they didn't put her in prison. I think if that line wasn't in there, it would have made her plight more sympathetic and left me wanting to cheer for her more. In other words, I can get being angry at the moment and doing something terrible because her powers aren't controlled. It was another thing for her to want to watch her mother burn to death for even a minute. I think overall you have a good start to a story and an intriguing world.
Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
The descriptions were great in a lot of places that helped build the world well. In some spots, they did feel a little drawn out. It made the pacing a little slow. I would consider trimming some down and keeping in only needed information. Your characters were interesting as was your world-building. You did a good job with both.
Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
