Police Station Mayhem

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Y/N POV

Glynda: "What you did was beyond reckless. And you. You could've brought down half the city with that tank!!!"

Y/N: "I wouldn't worry too much baby doll. The laws of physics mean nothing to me."

I pull out a massive mallet and whack my head. I toss the mallet away and blow my thumb inflating my flattened head.

Y/N: "See?"

Ruby stares in awe as a vein pops out of Glynda's head. 

Glynda: "That's besides the point!!! You could've caused severe damage!! If it was my call you'd be severely punished!!!!"

Y/N: "Is that a promise?"

Glynda: *grits teeth but breathes* "But there's someone who wishes to speak with you two."

She stops to the side revealing the great wizard.

Y/N: "Ozzy boy."

Ozpin: "Do I know you?"

Y/N: *to readers* "Not yet."

Glynda/Ozpin/Ruby: "Who're you talking to?"

Y/N: *points* "Them."

They look only to see the wall.

Ozpin: "Anyway. Miss Rose, where'd you learn to fight like this?"

He shows us a tablet that plays the first fight of RWBY.

Ruby: "Signal sir."

Ozpin: "They taught you to use the most dangerous weapon ever crafted?"

Ruby: "One person in particular."

Ozpin: "I see."

He set downs a plate of cookies which Ruby inhales. She becomes sad seeing no more cookies when I use the force to make three massive plates of cookies. Her eyes turn into stars as drool escapes her lips.

Ruby: "Did we just become best friends?"

Y/N: "No. We became super mega ultra plus best friends!!!!"

We high five and devour the cookies.

Ozpin: "Back to the topic at hand. I've only seen skill like that once before."

Y/N: "Okay Luke."

Ozpin: "An old crow."

Ruby: "That's my uncle Qrow."

Y/N: "Fitting name."

Ozpin: "And why is an adorable girl like you attending a school designed to train warriors?"

Y/N: *on phone* "Yes Chris Hansen? I've got someone for your next episode."

Ruby: "I wanna become a Huntress."

Ozpin: "You wanna fight monsters?"

Ruby: "Yeah! My parents always taught me to help those in need. So I figured I might as well turn it into a career."

Y/N: *waterfall tears* "You're just the sweetest of cinnamon rolls!!!!"

Ozpin: "Then would you like to join my school?"

Ruby: "You mean it!?!?!?!"

Ozpin: "Of course. And what about you? Would you like to join too?"

Y/N: "Well if I said no than this story would only be two chapters long. So might as well say yes. After all the author's gotta do something to pass the time."

Glynda: "Are you mental?"

Y/N: "Normally no. But for you, I'm outta my damn mind!!!!! Kiss me Glynda!!!"

I jump to her only to get smited into the ground.

Y/N: "Why must we deny true love? Me as well as the readers and watchers of RWBY know you're sexually frustrated."

Glynda: "I don't need anyone."

Y/N: "Independent are we?" *snaps fingers three times* "You go girl! You don't need no man!!!"

Multiple veins pop out of her head as several angry marks form. A menacing purple aura surrounds her as her eyes become yellow orbs of fury.

Y/N: "Are you gonna hit me?"

She sends her foot into my balls sending me through the roof. At peak altitude I look at the readers.

Y/N: "She's more pent up than I thought."

*next day*

I carefully pour the substances together until smoke leaks out of the tube forming a heart. Complete I cork my little potion and smile at my alchemy. 

Yang: "I can't believe you're here!!!"

The blonde brawler rockets past me knocking me down. I growl and toss the potion splattering the back of her head. Roughly a second later I realize my mistake. A dark aura covers the airship as Yang faces me. She walks to me with weird markings appearing on her sides.

Y/N: "Nice walk."

I strike a pose and walk to her with the same markings appearing on my sides. When we get within reach of each other my potion takes effect. Her meaning aura disappears and her eyes develop small hearts.

Y/N: "Oh shit!!!!!!!!"

As expected she latches onto me and huffs like Darkness from Konosuba. She then looks at me with lust all over her face.

 She then looks at me with lust all over her face

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