RWBY's Toon

Beacon Lunacy

Y/N POV

I lay passed out groaning, that's the last time I enter a drinking competition with Ginit. My misery is put at ease by something on my behind.

Y/N: *laughs* "I know you'd come around Glynda."

I let her work when I feel something bite my ass.

Y/N: "Wait a second, these ain't Glynda's teeth!!!!"

My eyes shoot open and I slap my violator. The Ursa runs away yelping while I scream at it.

Y/N: "At least buy me a drink first, don't be like Bill Cosby!!!!"

I get up and walk back into Beacon. When I get there I see everyone taking their weapons out of lockers. I look through each isle until I see Ruby.

Y/N: "Ruby!!!"

Ruby: "Y/N!!!"

We run to each other and do our super secret handshake.

Handshake: 

Ruby: "You remembered!"

Y/N: "Course I did. I'd never forget a handshake I spent hours practicing with my best friend."

Yang: "We've got a handshake too!!!"

Y/N: "Really? I don't recall making one. What is it?"

Yang:

My jaw drops in horror as I shield Ruby's eyes from this degeneracy. I then morph Yang into a foot ball and punt her out of the building.

Ruby: "Y/N, can you teach me how to be a rebel now?"

I look at her as I slam my cattle drafter sending her into attention. I then pace in front of her with an Vietnam war helmet on.

Y/N: "Listen up Rookie! My job is to mold you into the ultimate rebel! Do you understand!?!"

Ruby: *meekly* "Y-yes sir."

Y/N: "I can't hear you, sound off like you're proud!!!"

Ruby: *salutes* "Sir yes sir!!!"

Y/N: "Private Ruby why'd you wanna join my beloved corps!?"

Ruby: "Sir to be a rebel sir!"

Y/N: "So you're a rebel!? Well then, tell me the baddest thing you've done!"

Ruby: *pauses* "W-Well, when I was little my mom said to go to bed at eight. I didn't end up going to bed until eight o'one."

Y/N: "Not good enough private!!!"

Ruby: "Sir when I was allowed one cookie I took two sir!"

Y/N: *disgusted gasp* "You demon."

I pull out my scroll and place a call.

Y/N: "Yes police, I've got a criminal you might like."

Ruby: 

Ruby: "No don't take me to prison! I'm too young!!!! Mommy!!!!!"

I snort before bursting into laughter.

Y/N:

*0:41 - 0:55*

Ruby: *waterfall tears* "Why're you laughing!?!?!?!"

Y/N: "I'm not sending you to prison. It's too dangerous for a sweet girl like you."

She calms down but sulks in the corner over getting pranked. I turn around and head towards the second best red head in the show.

Weiss: "This is Pyrrha."

Pyrrha: "Hello again."

A heart appears behind me with an arrow piercing it.

Y/N: *crying* "It's too cute!!!!!"

Weiss: "So, do you still think you're qualified to have her on a team?"

Y/N: "I think so frosty the snow bitch."

Weiss: "Excuse me!?!?!"

Y/N: "Oh did you fart?"

I ignore her death glare and focus on Pyrrha.

Y/N: *combs hair* "Well hello beautiful."

A blush explodes onto her face when Weiss screams.

Weiss: "She's a celebrity!!! You should treat her as such!!!!"

Y/N: "Why so serious Weiss? Why don't we put a smile on that face?"

I creep towards her until she runs away screaming. I laugh at her torment when I hear Glynda's lovely voice.

Glynda: *on PA* "All first years report to Beacon Cliff."

I run to my future wife and don't listen to what they say. Instead I focus on Glynda and her tight body being contained in her outfit. Only after she stops moving is when I notice everyone already gone.

Y/N: "Where is everyone?"

Ozpin: "Off to complete initiation. Now it's your turn."

Y/N: "I don't wanna."

Glynda: "Do it and I'll let you sleep with me."

Y/N: "Say less!!!!"

I pull out a brick of PCP. I slit it open and take a mighty huff. I then toss it away and scream.

 Y/N: "Yeaaaaahhhhh! Now watch me fly!!!"

*1:17 - 1:31*

I run in slow motion and jump right as the I believe line hits. 

Y/N: "I fly like the wind."

My reality is shattered when the cold hand of gravity smites me out of the sky and sends me tumbling down the long hill.