Alex Runaway With Me

Karma seems nice now

(Lisa's POV that's right I'm mixing it up this chapter ;D)

I shut the door to my house, telling myself I wouldn't look out the window. I'd be lying if I said Alex eating Jack's face off didn't hurt me the slightest bit. What can I do though? It's not like I can turn Alex straight, and if I truly love him, like I do, I'm sure his happiness is worth it.

"Hun, is that you? You never go outside, is everything ok?" My mom yelled from downstairs. She was so sweet and caring, a bit suffocating.

"Yeah mom I'm fine, just saw an old friend and decided to go say hi." I yelled back, grabbing a Gatorade and trudging up the stairs. My room always seemed far away, and I felt deprived of air once I reached it. So many memories in that four walled area. It's as if they just echoed off of the walls. Our first kiss, first fuck, first fight, even the first time he let me in his fucked up little world. It was all still clear in my mind, yet so distant now. I was the one who threw him into Jack's arms, I was a bitch, self centered, that one fight, it wasn't our first for sure, but it was the straw that broke the camel's back. Maybe it was how everything was supposed to work out, my turn for misery. His turn at happiness. That's how this world works right? A vicious cycle of ups and downs and then we die.

***flashback***

"Are you ok?" I asked sitting on the edge of my small twin bed.

"Yeah, it's just, I'm kind of going through some fucked up shit right now." He said shaking. Alex wasn't one to be scared, of anything, but today he looked scared of the sun.

"Alex, you can tell me, I'm not going to judge you, ever." I said rubbing his arm. He jerked away in pain. I couldn't understand, his brother killed himself not that long ago, 3 weeks maybe, it's a lot to deal with. Death however, wouldn't make him this scared, this sad.

"I can't, my mom, she'll kill me." He said pulling his knees to his chest and letting his head fall on top of them. His jacket sleeve fell and he had completely destroyed his arms. Scars on top of scars, deep and some covered in bandages. No wonder he jerked away.

"A-Alex, why?" I asked him trying to sound as calm as possible. Instead of speaking, he stood up and lifted his shirt to show full hand outlines, bruises, and even more cuts. Some spelling out fag, or monster. "D-did you do this to yourself?" I asked. He shook his head no. I thought I was going to be sick to my stomach. How could his parents do this. "Alex we have to tell someone." I said reaching for my phone. He grabbed it quickly.

"You know what she'll do to me if I tell anyone? She'll kill me, and then herself. She told me. The gun is already loaded babe." He said collapsing on the ground. I had no clue what to do, so I sat there silently.

***end of flashback***

I was searching around my room, finding that old box I bought with Alex. I never finished it, I stopped before I could, but I still kept them. That cool metal seemed to be a good comfort strategy right now. It could help me forget, but the shit of it is, I went a year. A fucking year. To break that streak now would be a waste, but I have nothing making me happy now.

"What the hell?" I heard a voice say from my door way. Bloody hell, just my luck. I relapse after a year and someone catches me.

"Go away Alex." I said really wondering why he was in my house anyway.

"No, this isn't cool Lisa. What do you have to cut about now? You went a whole year and you just wasted it all. For what? Obviously you could deal with your parent's pressure when we were together and fighting all the damn time, but suddenly you're weak?" He said, arms crossed just staring at me. I wanted to cry, cut deeper, something, but that was weakness to him. I can't seem weak in his eyes.

"You just don't understand, now please go." I said having to bite back tears.

"No, you're fucked up now Lisa, I don't even understand you." He said slicing through me more that a blade ever could.

"I'M fucked up? You're the one kissing your boyfriend in front of me just to make me feel horrible. You're the one who's so emotional you won't just accept your boyfriend's fucking apology. You're the one to judge ME? Go fuck yourself Alex." I said screaming now. My mother must have left, otherwise I'd hear something about the swear jar. He looked at me stunned. Good.

"At least I don't cut for attention." He said blankly.

"You think I am? No one asked you to come in my room you bastard. I didn't tell anyone, I mean hell, I was alone in my fucking room. It's for attention? Do you see these sleeves? They're to hide the god damn maze I've cut into my arm. Now please leave or I'll have to call your boyfriend to come get you." I said turning away from him. I didn't want to hear anymore, it's not what I needed. He could fuck a lot of people over, but I don't need him to fuck me over.

"Fine, but I don't want you to be friends with Jack." He said before walking out. My phone buzzed.

-hey, areyou doing ok?- J

~yeah, I'm just not allowed to be friends with you :P~ L

-well maybe I'll change his mind (: - J

~let's hope so (: ~ L